Photo by Andy Jones.Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Sometimes kids don’t get what’s going on, or say ridiculous and silly stuff. But sometimes they can really boil it down and make a good point.
Overheard of the Week
On the Red Line.
Little girl: “Mommy, we’re not allowed to be in here. It says no animals!”
After the jump, bros, tourists, and relationship problems.
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Yup
Waiting for a Circulator bus in Georgetown, nighttime.
Three late-20s, early-30s professionals are talking.
Man: “It’s hard to be in a committed relationship during the summer because all the girls wear short dresses!”
He sees bystanders kind of listening and goes: “Now it’s going to end up on Overheard in D.C. … Wait it doesn’t sound that pervy, does it?”
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Clearly they want the opposite
Lunchtime on Thursday, 17th Street, north of Farragut Square:
Thirty-ish year-old businessman on a cell phone: “…relationships. Caring, steadfast. It’s like most women want a male best friend, not a boyfriend.”
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People are excited for the streetcar
On H Street NE when the streetcars were arriving:
A DDOT employee attempts to alert a pedestrian that he’s in the path of one: “Sir. … Sir, a train is coming.”
The pedestrian looks at the employee, looks at the now stopped streetcar and plants himself: “No. Fuck you, train. Fuck YOU!”
The man proceeds to continue swearing and has a fight with a streetcar full of training staff.
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Thanks, Obama!
Friday afternoon along Connecticut Avenue near Farragut Square:
Young 20-something woman with what sounds like a Mexican accent: “It’s weird seeing all these government people in black Escalades. Where I’m from, they always belong to narcotraffickers.”
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D.C. sports fans, to a tee
Outside Nationals Park:
Two guys heading to the Park for a game.
Guy asks the other: “Are baseball games as noisy as football games?”
Friend doesn’t answer.
Guy: “‘Cause football games are so loud.”
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The Smithsonian Piercing Pagoda is beautiful
On the National Mall:
Tourist on the phone: “No, I’m not at the mall. I’m at the Mall of America.”
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That’s some strategy
At a friendly dinner in Glover Park:
Person 1: “See, you’re the problem. You’re just encouraging [homeless people] to stay there by giving them a dollar.”
Person 2: “No no, ’cause I don’t do it in my own neighborhood.”
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That would be pretty cool
Saturday afternoon at the National Zoo near the big cats exhibit:
Twenty-something in an Atlanta Braves hat to his ladyfriend of similar age after seeing a lion with a dark mane: “I thought the lion was wearing a gorilla.”
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Sometimes drunk interns are 100 percent right
On an escalator at the Van Ness Metro station, 10:30 p.m. Friday:
Girl, slurring her words: “I have a moral obligation! “
Guy: “There wasn’t even anyone walking up behind me!”
Girl: “I have a moral obligation! If I’m going to get mad at the tourists, I have to get mad at the locals!”
Guy: “You have to take into account the facts on the ground.”
Girl: “IT’S A MORAL OBLIGATION!”