Photo by specimenlifeWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Our fair city has a reputation for many things, and one of those unfortunately is douchey people. Maybe it’s the lure of power or the aura of importance about all things Washington, but for whatever reason, they’re here. And this week, they seem to be everywhere.
Overheard of the Week
Weeknight happy hour at POV, the bar on the roof top of the W Hotel:
Very well-dressed early-20s guy talking to what appears to be slightly older co-workers.
Guy: “I’m having my cousin who lives outside D.C. get me a gun because they’re hard to get in the District. I’m moving to a not-so-great area where I’d feel much safer if I had some protection.”
Co-worker: “Where are you moving?”
Guy: “Logan Circle.”
No response from co-workers.
After the jump, some cute kids, some questionable parents, and some more jerky idiots.
Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure you tell us who was talking, to whom, where, when and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.
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Also, you are in Pentagon City
In a Starbucks near Pentagon City:
Two ladies in their early 30s standing and chatting.
Lady 1: “Starbucks is giving me an identity crisis lately.”
Lady 2: “What do you mean?”
Lady 1: “I used to be punk rock, but there’s no way to maintain that when I order an Oprah Chai Tea in Starbucks.”
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Keep it classy, bocce dudes
Cap Lounge men’s bathroom, around 10 p.m. on a Wednesday:
Two drunk bros in DC Bocce League tanks have the following conversation while emptying their bladders.
Bro 1: “I’m trying to make it through this whole night not paying for any drinks.”
Bro 2: “I’m trying to make it through the night and then bang an intern.”
Bro 1: “Dibs on the one in the black dress.”
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Yes, right at the top
On Independence Avenue Saturday morning:
A group of tourists is walking.
One of the tourists points at the Washington Monument and exclaims: “That’s where Washington was born!”
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Sad trombone
Outside the National Museum of American History:
Exasperated 12-year-old to his family as they enter the museum: “Does this one have the Mona Lisa?”
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Futbol!
Opening seconds of the Manchester United vs. Inter Milan game at FedEx field, Monday night:
Six-year-old boy: “Wow, it’s a lot less dramatic not on TV.”
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A great way to instill a love of art and culture
Outside the Phillips Collection in Dupont on July 28:
A family of tourists walk up 21st Street. The father speaks to his 9- to 10-year-old son and gestures to the gallery: “You know what they make there? Nothing.”
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Uhh
Red Line to Shady Grove, 10:30 p.m. on a Tuesday:
Group of white, well-off looking college kids count their stops.
Guy 1: “Dude, I’ve been in an interracial relationship. She was Italian.”
Guy 2: “She could totally pass for Israeli though!”
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A bronze plaque of a fake ID
On M Street in Georgetown:
Twenty-something male to friends in Virginia Tech t-shirts: “That used to be The Guards. They should erect a historical marker or something.”
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That’s one strategy
In the office:
Two women are discussing food trucks.
Woman: “I kinda want to order food from them, but the workers are so hot I don’t even want them to know I eat food.”
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And finally, it sounds like they’re better off not talking to you
Two guys hitting on two girls in Adams Morgan:
Guy 1: “Do you know what a GS-13 is? “
Girls stare blankly.
Guy 2: “Just walk away and save yourself. I’ll stay here and chat.”
