Photo by Tony Quinn.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
The Affordable Care Act may be the law of the land, but that doesn’t mean it’s easier to get. Thanks, Obama!
Overheard of the Week
In the waiting area of a doctor’s office:
Receptionist: “No sir, this is a neurologist’s office. You need a urologist”.
(pause)
Receptionist, louder: “No we are a neurologist! Not a urologist!”
(pause)
Receptionist, louder still: “No this is a NEUROlogist! You’re looking for a UROlogist!”
(pause)
Receptionist, again: “A UROLOGIST! You need someone who handles… yeah.”
After the jump, cool kids and a bunch of dumb dudes.
Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure you tell us who was talking, to whom, where, when and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.
——
Kids are cool sometimes
Near Eastern Market in the evening:
Enthusiastic six-ish-year-old boy walking with probably his mother who is wearing a veil and pushing a stroller.
Kid: “You can put ketchup in a quesadilla, you can put ANYTHING in a quesadilla.”
(Looks up and sees the moon in the twilight sky)
“You can put THE MOON in a quesadilla.”
(spots the CVS on the corner of Pennsylvania and 7th NW)
“You can put CVS in a quesadilla.”
(spots trash can on corner)
“You can put trash in a quesadilla.”
(Kid trails off)
——
Interesting, but no
Saturday night in a park near the Navy Yard:
Man and woman in their late twenties are walking. A Navy bugle call sounds as sun sets.
Man: “Do you think they’re letting everyone know that Shabbos is over?”
——
Let alone stand! Heyo!
Last night at Capitol City Brewing:
A large table of early thirty-somethings making a lot of noise.
One of the girls exclaims: “You can’t even squat in D.C. for less than a grand a month.”
The conversation stops and half the table busted out laughing.
——
Fun at work
In a cafeteria located in a generic office building:
Three coworkers are sitting together, one woman and two men.
Woman: “I didn’t specifically throw you under the bus this morning, but someone had to say something to get that meeting started!”
Man 1: (somewhat annoyed) “Yeah, well I’m used to it”
Man 2: (laughs)
——
NIN fans: aggro
Before the start of Nine Inch Nails at Jiffy Lube Live on Monday:
Two mid twenty-something women are talking loudly about all the “frogs” (bad guys) they’ve dated/slept with, and how they were getting tired of it all, wishing they could find a prince.
Girl in the next row back leans over to presumably her boyfriend: “Quit fucking the frogs and being a loose whore and a prince might notice you.”
——
How not to have a summit
At the World Bank African Youth Forum during the U.S.-Africa Leaders Summit:
Old British man sits down beside young African man and begins a conversation with him.
Old white man: “Where are you from?”
Young African man: “I’m from Nigeria, but I live here in the U.S.”
Old white man: “Well that’s why your country is doing so bad! You’re not there!”
(Nigerian man sits in silence.)
Old white man: “How many wives do you have?”
Young Nigerian man:” I have one.”
Old man continues in inaudible conversation with young man, except for one line which was, “When I lived in Nigeria, I actually had REAL Nigerian friends who didn’t treat me like a cash box.”
——
Bet these guys wear American flag shorts on the 4th of July too
On the Blue line towards Rosslyn:
Two young college age guys in athletic wear and gelled hair sitting on the train.
Guy 1: “Dude, my dad always says he wants to visit Arlington National Cemetery. I mean, it’s just a big cemetery. What could there possibly be to see there? It’s just so morbid!”
Guy 2: “Yeah, that’s stupid.”
——
Darwin at work?
Saturday afternoon near Eastern Market:
Two 23-25 year-old guys and three women were waiting to cross Pennsylvania Avenue. One of the guys steps onto the sidewalk ramp almost into traffic. A passing car honks
at him.
Guy 1: “Dude – seriously. That’s like 3 times today.”
Guy 2: “I’m not going to get hit—it’s a spidey sense.”
Guy 1: “Dude—that’s not spidey sense, that’s alcohol. It’s like, the opposite of spidey sense.”
——
And finally, maybe she needs to call the doctor above
On the 70 bus last week:
A woman gets on with 5 children in tow and continues her story very loudly to somebody else:
Woman: “She called the police on me! She said ‘don’t urinate on my wall or I’m gonna call the police.’ Well FIRST of all, it ain’t YOUR wall. You don’t own shit. You pay a mortgage? You pay your bills every month? So what? This is Georgia Avenue. You don’t own shit. I’ll urinate on your wall. CALL the police!”
