Photo by Rebecca SchleyWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
It seems like kids are everywhere: Tourist families are still around, lots of people in D.C. are having babies and school is starting soon. But times change, and kids these days are into different things.
Overheard of the Week
7:30 a.m. at the corner of 2nd Street and Rhode Island Avenue:
Three teens are on their way to school.
Teen 1: “We gotta have a food fight, man.”
Teen 2: “Fuck no. I ain’t messing up any of my shoes.”
After the jump, moms, bros and other weirdos.
Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure you tell us who was talking, to whom, where, when and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.
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Needs more lean meat
On the roof of Sauf Haus Bier Hall:
Preppy guys at table.
One in light blue polo and salmon colored Chubbies shorts: “I don’t like drinking beer. It’s not Paleo.”
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Thin Mints, please
At the Social Security office on M Street:
Social Security employee to elderly Filipino couple: “Would you like your appointment to be in English or in tagalong?”
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Like children?
In Woodrow Wilson Plaza:
A mother walking with her two children toward the Federal Triangle Metro station.
Mom, in an instructional tone to kids: “You know how in America we’re free? So, we can buy whatever we want.” (Goes out of earshot.)
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Ugh, the First Amendment is the worst
Outside the White House on Saturday:
There’s a Kurdish protest and then a silent protest in remembrance of Michael Brown near the fence.
Multiple tourists at different times: “They’re taking up all the good picture spots.”
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Zing
At City Dock Cafe in Annapolis, Saturday at 11:30 p.m.:
Barista/cafe manager comes in and deadpans to the cafe: “I thought littering was illegal. There is so much white trash out there.”
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Please go away
At Nationals Park for a game against the Pirates:
A Pittsburgh fan is sitting in the club seats where they bring free food to you. The wave is going around the stadium.
Pittsburgh fan, variously, whenever the wave passes: “DON’T DO IT!”
“EVERYONE KEEPS STANDING UP AND GETTING IN MY WAY!”
“I JUST WANT A FRUIT CUP!”
“I PAID GOOD MONEY FOR THESE SEATS!”
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Attention Spike Mendelsohn
At D.C. Superior Court, outside a courtroom:
One man to another: “I’m so hungry I’m about to ask for some leftover cell-block food!”
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We support you, 20-something
On Thursday night at Pinstripes in Georgetown:
Twenty-something girl and older co-worker are chatting.
Coworker: “I never knew this place was here. It used to be an Italian restaurant I think.”
Girl: “Well, it does kind of look like an Olive Garden. Ew.”
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You’re only 40 miles off
On a plane while landing at Baltimore-Washington International Airport:
Mom to her kids: “Girls, look! Washington, D.C.! See those five buildings? That’s the Pentagon.”
