Photo by T.D. FordWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Sometimes tourists come to town and do all manner of stupid things: Stand in front of Metro doors, think the National Mall is of the shopping variety, and so on. But sometimes they are completely accurate in their naiveté.
Overheard of the Week
Outside the Martin Luther King Jr., Memorial Library:
A tourist family is walking by.
Little girl to her parents: “It smells like someone peed on this building.”
After the jump, college kids, preps, dweebies and so on.
Overheard in D.C. relies on you to send in the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure you tell us who was talking, to whom, where, when and in what context, otherwise we’ll have to email you back.
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Oh yeah? You’re dumb.
On the Yellow Line:
Approximately eight-year-old tourist girl to mom: “What’s ‘len-fant’ mean?”
Mom: “L’Enfant. It means ‘infant’ in French. Like a baby.”
Girl: “We’re going to Baby Plaza? That’s dumb.”
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Some college kids suck
On Thursday at 7:15 p.m. on American University’s campus:
A group of three guys and one girl are standing around talking.
Guy 1: “…those are girls you date. Girls here you just fuck around with.”
Group laughs.
Guy 2: “Yeah, that’s true.”
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It’s fast approaching
On the street in Columbia Heights:
One young, post-workout sweaty man to another: “No, you still have to be hot in October for your slutty Halloween costume!”
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Totally
At Bravo Bar:
One guy is talking to another: “I was at Michael Franti & Spearhead and they asked me what my name was, and I looked at my friend, who is unfortunately now deceased, and I was like, ‘What’s my name dude!?’ And he was like, ‘Dude, your name is [says his name].’ I was fucking in another fucking world, dude.”
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Some college kids are OK
Near the Foggy Bottom Metro station and George Washington University:
Two college-aged guys are talking.
Guy 1: “I wonder what kind of horrible organization will replace ISIS once we attack them?”
Guy 2: “Comcast?”
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About as cool as your mom writing your name on your underwear at summer camp
In front of Vineyard Vines in Georgetown:
High school-age girl dressed head to toe in Vineyard Vines attire to her mother: “Mom, I think I’m turning into a prep. I want all my clothes to be monogrammed.”
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Lame superheroes
On T Street NW:
A man in his 40s and his friends are walking. They see a man gardening.
Man: “What’s up Garden-Man? You know, I am Animal-Man, like Dr. Doolittle. I talk to the animals and shit. You should come see my show sometime.”
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A Washington College of Law grad?
A few weeks ago leaving the Waterfront Metro station on Saturday around 4:30 p.m.:
A woman in a cap and gown is stumbling and drinking a 40, leaving the Metro: “Fuck it, I’m a graduated!”
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Yuppie children are here, and they mean business
At Whole Foods around 11 a.m. on a Monday:
A mom and her toddler pass by.
The little girl is crying and screaming in the shopping cart: “I WANT BAKED PAPAYA!”
