Photo by Rich Renomeron
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
D.C. is unlike many other cities in the U.S.: no skyscrapers, plentiful public transit, lots of parks and green space, a big international community and a lot of discrete neighborhoods. That’s generally thought to be a good thing, but maybe it’s not for everybody.
Overheard of the Week
Coming across the Ellington Bridge from Woodley Park to Adams Morgan at around 6 p.m.:
A middle-aged white couple are walking. Wearing jean shorts, St. Louis Cardinals shirts and a fanny pack, they appear to be tourists.
Wife: “I could never live like this!”
Husband in a perplexed tone: “What do you mean?”
Wife: “There are no grocery stores and no gas stations on the corners.”
After the jump, sick burns, complainers, and tough lives.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where, and in what context, too.
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The shark has been jumped
Leaving Le Diplomate on a Saturday morning:
A husband and wife in their late 30s, and one set of their parents in their 60s, are exiting Le Diplomate.
Husband, to no one in particular: “Ok, now we can take the selfies for the twitters.”
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Burn, Vol. 1
At Codmother on U Street NW:
Two hipster-dressed creative types, talking over whiskey on the rocks.
One hipster: “All you need for a party is a bunch of booze and elitism, and BYT will be there.”
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The New York Times was right, it is a cool dining scene
On the Green Line to Greenbelt:
Two 20-somethings, a male and female, are having an intense conversation about American consumers’ taste preferences, or lack thereof, for fresh seafood and what that means for sushi availability and quality in the US.
Man: “So like, where do you take your parents when they visit here from the Midwest?”
Woman, very matter-of-factly: “I try to take them to tapas places because, you know, it feels ethnic … but it’s not too much. They’re still comfortable with it.”
Man, nodding: “Yeah. Very meat-and-potatoes.”
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Burn, Vol. 2
On 7th Street near the Gallery Place-Chinatown Metro station around 7 p.m.:
A couple is discussing where to have dinner.
Woman: “Oh look, there’s a Legal Seafood!”
Man: “YOU’RE a Legal Seafood.”
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Teaching kids takes a long time
At corner of Rhodes Street and Wilson Boulevard in Arlington:
Dad talking to daughter: “Real apples are healthy. Lollipop apples are not.”
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Millennials
Weekday afternoon on the American University shuttle to Tenleytown:
Two female AU undergrads are on their phones.
Woman 1: “We’re good friends. If she Snapchats me while I’m in the shower, I’m not going to get dressed before I Snapchat back.”
Woman 2 nods in agreement.
Woman 1: “She’s just going to have to get used to my nudies.”
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Right?
In the lobby of an office building in Clarendon:
Two women are walking in from lunch.
Woman 1: “I wish I had a job where I didn’t have to work.”
Woman 2 sighs.
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Life is hard
On the 90 Metrobus on Friday afternoon:
Mom to six-year-old: “Did you take a nap at school today?”
Six-year-old: “We didn’t. We had to work all through the day. No breaks.”
Mom: “Oh really?”
Six-year-old: “It wouldn’t have happened if I was in pre-kindergarten.”
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You immediately lost the argument with your defense
In the men’s restroom at the Washington Firehouse on North Capitol at their soft opening:
Two 20- or 30-something guys are talking. Guy No. 2 is wearing a flannel shirt.
Guy 1: “You’re a hipster!”
Guy 2: “No I’m not. I was here when the neighborhood was still sketchy.”
Guy 1: ” You’re a HIPSTER! JUST SAY IT! HIPSTER! JUST SAY IT! JUST SAY IT!!!”
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Burn, Vol. 3
Saturday night on the Green Line between the Gallery Place and L’Enfant Plaza stations, about a quarter to ten:
A group of tweens pile onto two benches inside a train car, trading insults: “Your mouth is like a door. Everybody comes in it.”
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