Photo by Karon Flage

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

Dad jokes: We all know them. They’re corny and kind of clever, good-natured but lame. Popular on the Internet, you don’t necessarily need to be an older guy to start making them.

Overheard of the Week

Lunchtime at Luke’s Lobster in Penn Quarter:

A group of professionals in their late 20s sit down with their lobster rolls. One guy questions whether the food merits the long walk from their office.

Guy 1: “Well, all I have to say is this lobster better be amazing.”
Guy 2: “Did you say a-Maine-zing?”
Guy 3, shaking his head: “Please shut up.”

After the jump, a whole bunch of mid-20s morons.

As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where, and in what context, too.

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I would be so good at this

In Georgetown:

One young mother to another: “If she sits on the potty for 20 minutes she gets a sticker. If she goes to the bathroom, she gets a sticker and an M&M.”

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You have to be smarter than the phone

On a bus on 14th Street NW:

A man wearing Beats by Dre headphones is trying to talk on his phone, holding it over the headphones.

Man, who clearly can’t hear the other person: “Huh? What?!”

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21st century problems

Thursday night at AMC Mazza Gallerie waiting for the 8 p.m, showing of The Hunger Games: Mockingjay:

Two mid-20s women are talking.

Woman 1: “Wait, so why aren’t you on Tinder again?”
Woman 2: “Because none of my photos on Facebook are sexy enough that a guy will want to … you know.”

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Attention people who think abstinence-only education is the way to go

At the Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro station:

Group of mid-20-somethings are walking through the fare gates.
Girl to group: “I can guarantee that you can’t get STDs unless there is open sores.”
Group nods in agreement.

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Aww

In an apartment building lobby in Chinatown:

A woman in her mid-20s is meeting what looks like a significant other.

Girl: “I had a rough day. Got called a bitch by a first grader.”
Guy: “Calls it like he sees it.”

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Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

In an office building in Ballston:

Woman 1: “My life goal is to be comfortable. I want to amass a huge wardrobe of sweaters and pants without zippers or buttons.”
Woman 2: “I just want to look like one of those people who has no job on Pinterest. Just leggings all the time.”
Woman 3: “As long as we’re going there, I want to eat pizza and not gain weight.”

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Ancient history

Before the Bill Nye talk at George Washington University on Wednesday night, in the audience:

College-aged girl: “I found a book in the bookstore that was dated October 1, 1980!”
College-aged guy: “There’s a book there from, like, 1975.”

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You tell ’em

On U Street NW:

Two 20-something women are talking.
Woman 1: “Why are you still talking to him?”
Woman 2: “I dunno, he’ll just always be the one that got away for me.”
Woman 1: “Well he SHOULD go away.”

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