Photo by Z. Lewkowicz
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
The holidays are probably a tough time for singles: Especially on New Years Eve when the clock strikes 12 and you find yourself without a partner to smooch. Love sucks.
Overheard of the Week
On the Metro at 8:30pm on New Year’s Eve:
Young guy with purple hair, in a very one-sided conversation with a stranger sitting behind him: “She put a candle in her butt. And the first thing I thought was, ‘Man, I’m never gonna find love.'”
After the jump, fancy shopping, fancy coffee, and kids.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where, and in what context, too.
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Jumping the grocery shark
At the Trader Joe’s on 14th Street NW:
Woman to man: “They don’t have regular peanut butter here.”
Man in response: “See honey, this is why Trader Joe’s is not for us.”
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Are our children learning?
On the D6 bus Thursday afternoon:
A high school student is talking to a group of grade school students.
High school girl: “I can just drop out of school after this year if I want to, I don’t need junior and senior year. But I don’t want to, because I need an education.”
Grade school boy: “I don’t get why we even need an education. Teachers say it’s to get jobs and stuff but can’t you just Google it?”
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Keepin’ it classy
At the Winter Classic hockey game on New Year’s Day:
Guy 1: “Have you ever tried molly? It’s fucking awesome!”
Guy 2: (gives him a puzzled look)
Guy 1: “I’m not talking about your daughter. I’m talking about the drug, man.”
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Zing
On the corner of 19th and I, during lunch:
Sidewalk activist, approaching man in a suit: “Hello, are you as nice as you are well-dressed?”
Man in a suit, glancing down at himself then back up at the activist: “Absolutely not.”
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#pleasestop
On Florida Avenue NW in Adams Morgan:
Two young women are talking and talking: “I can’t wait for 2015, I’ve decided I’m going to have a completely new hashtag.”
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This is going to end well
On the Green line after work:
Two females in their early 20s are talking. One of the women is talking about her relationship problems: Her boyfriend is very much in love with her, but she’s just not that into him and is worried he is putting her on a pedestal.
Woman: “I think he loves with the idea of me, kind of like how I love the idea of his money.”
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Seinfeld’s “Ukraine is weak joke,” comes full circle
On the Metro from Columbia Heights to Georgia Avenue:
Man with Eastern European accent: “I do not like The Simpson Show. The Simpson Show is sucks.”
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Bespoke sugar!
At Sidamo Coffee & Tea on H Street:
Woman in her 30s: “Do you have sweetener? Like NutraSweet?”
Barista points to milk & sugar station.
Woman: “Yeah, but I want you to put it in my coffee for me.”
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