Photo by Zac Montellaro
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Sometimes children see us as we really are. Sometimes tourists do too.
Overheard of the Week
On the Orange/Blue/Silver Line of Metro:
A family of tourists are talking.
Ten-year oldish boy: “This is the Silver Line! It’s the most expensive Line of all!”
After the jump, more kids, cool parents, and millennials!
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where, and in what context, too.
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In Soviet Russia!
Co-workers talking hockey over lunch:
Guy 1: “Do they still have that one guy on the team… what’s his name… Gorbachev?”
Guy 2: “Ovechkin? Yea. He’s still on the team.”
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Nobody tell them what Wonderland used to be
In front of Number Nine at 14th and P Streets NW:
Two twenty-something women are standing. One to the other: “I don’t get it. Why did they put a gay bar in this neighborhood?”
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Sommeliers in training
Near Farragut Square, 6:30 p.m. on a Thursday:
A group of college-age people are walking.
Woman 1: “You are supposed to put ice in white wine!”
Woman 2: “What?! No, you’re not!”
Woman 1: “Yes you are! White wine is supposed to be chilled!”
Woman 2: “You chill it by putting it in the fridge!”
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The peace vigil people: Very dedicated to law enforcement
In front of The White House:
Tourist 1: “There are a lot of police here.”
Tourist 2: “If you see any homeless people, they are police too.”
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Funny/annoying (circle one)
On the D6 bus in Georgetown:
A group of school kids are all yelling at once.
“Hashtag be quiet!”
“Hashtag you be quiet!”
“Hashtag shut up!”
“Hashtag shhhhh-tag!”
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Yes, please stay away
In Pure Pastry Co. in Vienna on Saturday lunchtime:
A theatrical young couple are having a conversation in the seating area, talking loudly and waving their arms dramatically.
Woman: “I’m not looking forward to going downtown on Sunday morning. It’s going to be full of people going out to brunch.”
Man: “It’ll be full of brunch people. Breeple.”
Woman: “Yeah!”
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You are not doing a great job of convincing me
Crossing Colesville Road in Silver Spring:
A woman was trying to explain the origins of the movie Penguins of The Madagascar to a man, maybe trying to get him to watch it with her.
Woman: “They were in that movie Madagascar, but they weren’t the main characters, it’s like a spinoff.”
Man sighs, then a long pause: “Okay, as long as it’s not Joanie Loves Chachi!”
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MoCo Millennials!
At Earthtreks Climbing Center in Rockville:
Three young women in their early twenties are talking.
Girl 1 (every statement has the inflection of a question): “I get to visit my parents in Seoul. I’m so excited.”
Girl 2: “OMG that’s cool. Where’s Seoul-o?”
Girl 1: “North Korea! Isn’t that awesome?”
Girl 3: “I LOVE NORTH KOREA!” (loudly enough so another person turns around).
Girl 2: “SO DO I.”
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His parents better return that Lil’ Puffer Kidz Coal Plant
At Foundry United Methodist Church, Sunday service, during the children’s message:
Pastor: “Anybody make a New Years resolution?”
Kid no older than 6: “Stop emitting greenhouse gases!”
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The D6, giving the X2 a run for its money in Overheards
School kid on the D6 bus:
Kid one: “I hate getting money as a present. It’s like they forgot or were too lazy to give you a real present.”
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And finally, parent of the week. Thumbs up, sir.
On the Metro at 5:30 p.m. on a Wednesday:
Crowded train, doors are not closing because of some obstruction.
Metro operator: “Please stand clear of the doors. I repeat, stand clear of the doors, or else the train will fail to move and everyone will have to offload.”
Young boy to father: “Daddy, what’s ‘offload’?”
Father in response: “Something bad, something very, very bad.”
