Photo by m01229
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
In which tourists find D.C.’s weird neighborhood neologisms as confusing as we do.
Overheard of the Week
On the NoMa Metro platform on a Saturday night:
Two twenty-something girls talking: “This is like no man’s land. Is that why it’s called NoMa? Is that what it stands for?”
After the jump, business dudes, idiots, and important snowstorm behavior.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where, and in what context, too.
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Says you
At 19th St and Wilson in Rosslyn, waiting for the light to change at 8:30 am:
Two early thirty-something dudes are cold.
Guy 1: “I wonder what it’s like in California today. I looked at the weather and it says it’s 25 degrees here, and in my hometown it’s -10. That’s a 35 degrees difference, so I guess here isn’t so bad, but people in my hometown aren’t standing around outside like a bunch of fucking nimrods.”
Guy 2: Nods
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The customer is always right?
At a bank in McLean, Va.:
A customer and banker are having a heated discussion about fees on the customer’s account.
Customer: “These overdraft fees are unacceptable!”
Banker: “No. Sir. Overdrawing your account 18 times in the last year is unacceptable.”
This doesn’t resolve things, so they argue for a few more minutes before a manager steps in.
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Don’t want to miss Truckasaurus
Waiting in line at the Chipotle next to the Verizon Center Saturday evening:
The restaurant is packed with parents and their kids about to head into the Monster Jam monster truck show. A father and his two sons, between 8 and 11, are waiting in line.
Oldest boy: “Dad, I need to use the bathroom.”
Father: “Okay. Take your brother, stay together, and hurry.”
Oldest boy: (Gets the security guard to let them into the bathroom.)
Father: (calling after them) “No, two-sies!” (Pauses and yells again) “No, two-sies!”
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It’s important to stay hydrated
At X2 bus stop on H Street between 4th and 5th NW:
Sixty-something man to friend: “I ain’t drunk enough water in the last week to float a goldfish.”
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Retro tech is in now
Woman walking up Union Station escalator, holding a tin can to her ear:
“Hello? Hello! Where are you? At Starbucks? I’ll be right there.”
Puts can down and quickly walks away.
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Oh, Jesus Christ
At Sunday morning brunch in Columbia Heights:
A couple is talking about the new exhibit at the Holocaust museum.
Woman: “I’m just really not into genocide right now , you know?”
Man: “Yeah I know what you mean.”
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Everyone has their necessary preparations. Mine are whiskey and donuts
On the D6 to Stadium Armory:
A lady on her phone, loud enough to hear her through headphones: “GET ENOUGH CAT FOOD FOR AT LEAST A WEEK. The mayor said so because there’s three feet of snow.”
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I mean, sort of
On Wisconsin Avenue in Glover Park:
A bunch of people exit a car with Maryland license plates after parking.
Woman: “Is this D.C.?”
Man: “This is D.C.”
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Learning disappointment young
At Target, 7 p.m. Rockville Saturday night:
Mom and kids are shopping for Valentine’s Day cards.
Mom: “How about these?”
Son, 7 years old: “Hm, there are five boys in my class and like a thousand girls. Yeah, these [Valentine’s] you can color are good.”
Mom: “Well…there are 32 cards. that will have to be enough.”
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And finally, disagree
At a Goodwill in Arlington, in the children’s toys section:
Dad to his toddler: “You don’t need a pooping cow!”
