Photo by Elvert Barnes
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
The D.C. area has the highest number of former Peace Corps volunteers, non-profit workers, NGOs, international organizations, government workers, aid workers, and many more like-minded folks. Maybe we’re just the most helpful, outward-looking, humanitarian-friendly city around?
Overheard of the Week
Two mid-twenty women on the Yellow Line Saturday night on the way to dinner and drinks:
Woman 1: “Have you ever written a Yelp review?
Woman 2: “Nah.
Woman 1: “Yeah, me either… but I feel like it’s one of those things you should do to contribute to society.”
After the jump, romance for Valentine’s Day, dummies, and banks.
As always, Real, Original Overheard in D.C. relies on you to submit the good stuff to our special Overheard in D.C. email address. Make sure to tell us who, where, and in what context, too.
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Valentine’s Day is truly upon us
At the 9:30 Club box office on a very cold Tuesday night:
A couple in their late twenties is picking up tickets.
Woman (picking up both tickets) to box office attendant: “Wow, I can feel the warmth coming out of your box right now.”
Man (to woman): “I say that to you all the time.”
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I just injured my eyes rolling them so hard
Friday evening, February 6, in front of the Trader Joe’s in Foggy Bottom:
One woman in her mid-twenties to another: “And then she told me that collard greens are the new kale, and I was like ‘OMG I am so glad I got the memo!'”
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The good old days
On an eastbound Silver line train near Capitol South:
Two women in their early twenties are talking.
Woman 1: “I’d love to be 21 again.”
Woman 2: “Yeah?”
Woman 1: “Yeah, being 22 just isn’t as great. I mean, this time last year I was vomiting in my pants.”
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We’re doomed
In the Georgetown Sephora on Saturday afternoon:
Ten-year-old girl, examining some makeup, to her mother: “I don’t know. I need something that will make me look, like, young and innocent. You know?”
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Important neighborhood news
In Petworth:
Woman on her porch, shouting: “Do you have everything?”
Woman several yards away, loading her car, shouting back: “Yes! What are you going to do now?”
Other woman, still shouting: “I’m gonna take me a laxative!”
Car woman: “A what?”
Other woman: “A laxative! I haven’t gone to the bathroom in days!”
Car woman: “You know you should get the doctor to give you something natural for that.”
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What really smells is calling that Dupont
On California Street in front of MINT Dupont Gym:
One woman, looking into the windows of the gym, says to another, “I bet they wear deodorant in that gym.”
Other woman: “Yeah, I wish they wore deodorant in our gym.”
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I don’t want to party with this guy:
On the 18th Street strip, Adams Morgan:
“So he empties his bladder, puts in a catheter, pours wine INTO his penis…”
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An only-in-D.C. conversation?
In Target in Hyattsville:
Woman one: “How’s your job at The World Bank going?”
Woman two: “I work at Citibank.”
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You need to work on your comparisons:
At Jackpot in Gallery Place during Friday night happy hour:
Two women in their early 30s are talking about their hair.
Bartender: “So, did you like that beer? Want to try something else?”
Woman: “I like it but I want something else. I must be annoying you. It’s all, like, beer, hair, beer, tinder, hair,” [lets out yelp].
Bartender: “…Ok, let’s see what else we have.”
(A bit later)
Woman one, clapping in rhythm, and loudly: “I don’t want to go to Florida. I don’t want to go to Florida. I don’t want to go to Florida!”
Woman two: “It’s like the Ocean City of the south!”
(Later)
Woman two: “I mean, where does Miami come from, and why are we going? I mean, it’s where spring break happens! It’s the Virginia Beach of the south.”
