Photo by John M
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
With the growth of 14th Street’s bars and restaurants, there’s been a similar growth in the variety of drunk food there — tacos, cheesesteaks, food trucks and more. But kudos to this guy for sticking with the traditional. This guy for president.
Overheard of the Week
At Manny & Olga’s Pizza on 14th Street NW:
Wasted dude: “I want some wings.”
Employee: “How many do you want?”
Wasted dude: “How many do you got?”
After the jump, tourist teens, strange descriptions, and sick burns.
An important note: We have been having some email problems lately. If you sent in an Overheard in the last three weeks (or hear a new one), can you please forward it to tips (at) dcist (dot) com ? Thanks a million!
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Ok?
At Rocket Bar:
Two late twenty-something women drinking wine on their way to see Barry Manilow at the Verizon Center.
Woman 1: “Her personality is like the shape of her eyebrows.”
Woman 2: nods in understanding.
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Maybe she’s an alien
Walking out of the MARC/Amtrak exit in Union Station at 8 a.m., back when it was bitterly cold:
Young girl in her twenties with peacoat and scarf, excitedly: “Did you SEE what that girl was wearing?”
Young guy also in his twenties with peacoat and scarf as well, unexcitedly: “What?”
Girl: “She had a tail! A tail poking out from under her dress. A TAIL!”
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That’s why your parents always said use the bathroom when you have a chance
Afternoon on the Silver Line near L’Enfant Plaza:
Man says to woman (who seems to be a co-worker) in a louder than Metro-appropriate voice:
“The thing is, when she started pushing, I started pushing too. I wasn’t even thinking. Then about ten minutes in I asked the nurse if I had time to go to the bathroom.”
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Yes, it is like that
At Qdoba:
Twenty-something guy on the phone with his significant other: “What do you want on your burrito?”
(pause)
“Do you want queso?”
(pause)
“It’s like, you know, cheese.”
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We are doomed
Crossing 9th Street NW on a Sunday afternoon:
A group of possibly tipsy twenty- or thirty-something guys are walking and talking.
Guy 1: “That is hashtag not my problem!”
Guy 2: “You can’t do that! You can’t hashtag a phrase!”
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He prefers the term curator
Near 14th and Monroe Streets NW in Columbia Heights:
Two mid twenty-somethings in gym clothing are walking and talking:
Guy: “How’s Jeff?”
Lady: “Still weird. he’s a hoarder. Angela went into his room and cleaned it. He didn’t talk to her for three days after that.”
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Right there with you
On a Saturday in Trader Joes near Old Town Alexandria:
A woman and her six-year-old daughter are shopping in the frozen food.
Daughter excitedly points and exclaims: “LOOK, mom! CORNDOGS!”
Mom, calmly: “No, honey, those are organic chicken Parmesan lollipops.”
Daughter, rather resigned: “Oh.”
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You said it
On the Yellow Line bridge, when the river was full of ice:
A group of teenage tourists were discussing the scenery:
Teen 1: “Is that the ground? I think it’s the ground. Or is it a lake?”
Teen 2: “I’m pretty sure it’s a lake.”
Teen 3: “It’s the Plutonic River, idiots.”
