Photo by Erin KellyWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
The brief return of nice weather seems to have gotten everyone outside and excited. But perhaps that comes at a cost.
Overheard of the Week
On I Street SW during Sunday’s 60 degree sunshine:
Man on the phone: “Man, days like today make me wish I hadn’t told all my friends to fuck off.”
After the jump, more springtime behavior, not all of it good.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Yes, no idea!
At the Washington Monument:
Man talking on cell while walking around the Washington Monument:
“I don’t understand why she is acting like this. I mean, I make A LOT of money.”
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They probably stand on the left, too
Outside Union Market:
Two twenty-somethings in business casual clothes.
Woman to man: “Are you serious? You can’t have a coffee on the Metro?!? I would never want to commute then.”
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What a wonderful world we live in
At 14th and P NW before happy hour:
Twenty-something yuppie walking alone, holding his phone to his mouth: “Siri, who invented chocolate milk?”
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Yes please?
At the Columbia Heights Metro, where all the turnstiles are broken:
Voice from the crowd trying to get out: “Metro has thwarted us for the last time! Next time, I’m going to drop a newspaper bomb. A newspaper bomb full of gummy bears. Gummy bears everywhere! Take that, Metro!!!”
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Sometimes kids are awesome
Sunday in the restroom in the Amazonia house at the National Zoo:
Little boy in stall: “Dad?”
Dad in next stall: “Yes?”
Little boy: “Can I tell you something?”
Dad: “Yes?”
Little boy: “Daddy, today I’ve seen so many reptiles… that my poop looks like reptiles.”
Everyone else in restroom snickers.
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Never a dull moment
After midnight on a Saturday night about at the Gallery Place-Chinatown Metro:
Two guys and a girl had just gone down the escalator and were headed into the Metro.
Metro employee: “Did you guys see smoke coming out of a trash can up there?”
Guy: “No, but I’d get right on that!”
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I’m sure there’s a way
In front of Unum restaurant in Georgetown:
Elderly man 1: “It’s 5:30, they’re supposed to be open at 5:30, there is no one in there!”
Elderly man 2: “Well you can’t blame France for this.”
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And finally, sprung, indeed
In the elevator at a government building near Union Station:
Two office workers are talking. One guy is wearing a long, black, leather coat and reeking of cigarette smoke.
Man 1: “I’m telecommuting tomorrow and then have my [alternative work schedule] day on Friday. Oh, and I’m going to a sleepover tonight.”
Man 2 (looking at smartphone and ignoring Man 1): “Hmm. I just got a text reminding me of a dentist appointment that I have on Friday.”
Man 1: “I’m going to a sleepover tonight.”
Man 2 (looks up, bewildered): “You mean a kid’s sleepover?”
Man 1 (happy that Man 2 is finally paying attention to him): “No. I mean (dramatic pause) an adult sleepover.” (Man 1 now has a smug look on his face)
Man 2: “Um, is that a fancy way of saying orgy?”
The elevator arrives.
