Photo by Erik Cox PhotographyWelcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
The Cherry Blossoms are here again. That means great views and tons of tourists, but also the dreaded curse of the selfie, which makes you unable to enjoy anything.
Overheard of the Week
At the Tidal Basin:
A husband and wife are walking. The wife is stopping them to pose for selfies every five feet.
Husband: “I don’t expect to be taking selfies all the way around the Tidal Basin so this better be the one.”
After the jump, power outages, bros, and D.C. sports fans.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Power outages make people go crazy
At RFD during the power outage:
A large table of young professionals has been drinking since at least 2 p.m.
Late twenties/early thirties guys: “It’s Tuesday?! That means we’re going to Camelot! Shee-it, I got some ones! MAGIC MIKE!”
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14th Street: the new Adams Morgan?
In Crispus Attucks Parks in Bloomingdale on Sunday afternoon:
A group of preppy-looking twenty-somethings are passed out in the middle of the park in, amidst groups of picnicking hipsters and young parents following toddlers around.
At some point they begin to stir. Drunken conversation begins:
Prep one: “Where the fuck are we??”
Prep two: “How do we get back to 14th Street?!”
They stumble around for a bit, play club music from their phones, sing off-key, and ironically hump each other.
Prep three, after looking intensely at his iPhone for a few minutes: “Ok, let’s go this way.” (heads in the wrong direction).
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An old soul
Afternoon at 15th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue NW:
Dad to boy, maybe six: “Wanna see the White House?”
Boy: “I’ve already seen it.”
Dad: “You’ve never seen it!”
Boy: “I just wanna go back to the hotel and rest.”
Boy keeps asking to go to the hotel as they walk down Penn.
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Complicated!
At the Nationals/Yankees exhibition game on Sunday:
Older woman: “What does the W stand for?”
Thirty-something man, presumably her son: “…Washington.”
Woman, pointing to the curly W clock in the outfield: “No, over there.”
Man: “Yes, Washington.”
Woman: “Well, the Yankees don’t have ‘N.'”
Man: “They have ‘NY.'”
Woman: “Oh.”
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Perhaps the bus is not for you
On the corner of M Street and Pennsylvania Avenue around 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday night:
Two early twenties Georgetown students are chatting.
Woman 1: [As a Circulator drives by] “Eww! Those buses give me PTSD from this summer. Like, they were air conditioned really well, but you had to touch a lot of people!”
Woman 2 nods in understanding.
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Pot, kettle etc.
On the Red Line at Metro Center just before rush hour:
A woman gets onto a fairly quiet car. She’s talking loudly/yelling into her phone on speakerphone, discussing someone standing on the wrong side of the elevator.
“I dunno what she’s thinking. She clearly don’t know the etiquette!”
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The Church of Two Buck Chuck
On 14th Street NW near Trader Joe’s on Sunday morning:
Woman to male companion while walking: “The secularists are taking over, hehe…”
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This guy deserves a lot of tips
At Nats vs Yankees game:
A walking beer vendor starts down the stairs into a section and yells: “Ladies and gentlemen! Raise your hand if you’re suffering the ravages of sobriety! I’m here to help with that. Can I get an amen?!”
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Class warfare
Friday night at Boundary Stone:
Dude 1 to Dude 2, both sipping an Old Fashioned: “I meannnn…she doesn’t have a real job. She’s a yoga instructor.”
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Yeesh
In the hallway in a Federal Government building, late afternoon:
Mid-thirties man to another: “I’m telling you man, look through the obituaries section. That’s the best place to get a lead on great deals if you’re looking to buy a new place”
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You be you
Monday afternoon on a 30 bus on Independence Avenue near the Capitol:
A very large middle-aged man waits to get on the bus and there’s an awkward pause. The man asks the operator if he could kneel the bus for him. The operator kindly says “I was going to do it, but I didn’t want to embarrass you.”
The bus kneels and the large man gets on the bus smiling: “You can’t embarrass me because I’m super fat!”
He pays his fare, maintains the smile on his face, walks over to a seat in the front of the bus, and says (to no one in particular) “There’s only one thing better than being fat….and that’s being super fat!”
Everyone on the bus smiles and chuckles.
