Photo by Rob Cannon
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Dating apps have blown up in the last few years: OkCupid, followed by Grindr, Tinder, and Hinge, and probably some others I’ve never heard of. But this is D.C., we have our own way.
Overheard of the Week
In Clarendon on a Saturday night:
Drunk girl to drunk guy walking down the street: “If you really love me, find me on Linkedin.”
After the jump, tourists, bros, cool kids, and funny moms.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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The sad state of American education
In City Center at 10:30 p.m. on Thursday:
Two men are sitting on a bench.
One to the other: “Help me out here. What are the 5 dinosaurs? The one with the short arms is the Tyrannosaurus. Now what about the one with the huge body and the long-ass neck?”
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This kid is awesome
At Ted’s Bulletin on 8th Street SE at brunch time:
Two couples, one with a child, are in the bar area waiting to be seated. The child, a boy, is about three years old and seemingly not paying attention.
Mom: “Everything is ‘butts’ now. I don’t know where he got it from. Butts this, butts that.”
Little boy in sing-song voice: “Butts! Butts! Butts!!”
Everyone laughs.
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Stimulus package
On a Red Line train:
Two thirty-something co-workers are discussing their commute.
Coworker #1: “I usually walk in the morning, it’s about two miles. It’s interesting what you see in the city at 5 a.m. I see a lot of…umm…working ladies on the street.”
Coworker #2: “You mean like hookers?”
Coworker #1: “Yeah! And they always try to talk to me! But I just tell them no thanks, I gotta get to work. Then they say they can start my day off right and even give me a government discount!”
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He’s going to be disappointed
A family of tourists walking down H Street in Chinatown:
Kid in stroller: “Mommy, can we visit the National Museum of Chinese Buildings?”
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In their defense, foreign money has much more variety
Downtown:
Four Australian women in their early twenties are waiting for the 33 bus and sorting through their wallets to find correct change. One of them holds up two nickels, presumably a normal one and one that has the forward-facing Jefferson on it.
Woman 1: “Hey, these have two different guys!”
Woman 2: “That’s weird.”
Woman 1: “Could it be fake?”
Woman 2: “…A fake five cents?”
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Kudos, mom
In TJ Maxx in Georgetown:
Mom is with little daughter (around age six).
Daughter: “This is NOT fun!”
Mom: “This is Mommy Fun.”
Daughter: “What about Kid Fun?”
Mom: “You already had your fun this morning. Now it’s time for Mommy Fun.”
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“I want to party with her”
Standing in a very long line waiting to get into the Cherry Blossom Wine and Beer Festival at the Navy Yard:
Directly in front, a group of twenty-somethings—three girls and two guys—are chatting. One girl starts digging through her bag and pulls out a tube of lip balm and starts to apply it.
Girl 1 (to Lip Balm Girl): “That’s a strong smell. What flavor is that? Strawberry?”
Lip Balm Girl: “It tastes like asshole but let me check.” (looking at the balm) “Yup, it’s supposed to be strawberry.”
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Birds of a feather, let’s hope
At B Too on Wednesday night:
A lady lobbyist and her date are talking.
Date sits down and the first thing she says is: “Do you have 40 million lying around? Because I have an opportunity.”
Later, same woman, discussing presidential candidates: “I’m intrigued by Bush; he’s the most intriguing Bush in my mind.”
