Photo by ep_jhu
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
It’s no secret people in D.C. are cynical: the city can have its laws canceled whenever Congress pleases, tourists are always asking the same dumb questions, and Councilmembers have had a problem not breaking laws. But there are still some things that can inspire wonder.
Overheard of the Week
At the College Park Metro station as passengers board a new 7000 series train:
College student: “This is like Disneyland stuff!”
After the jump, Metro operators, drunkies and really fun dance parties.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Fighting the good fight
Monday at 8 a.m. Orange Line at Clarendon heading into D.C.:
A particularly crowded train resulting in the inevitable cycling of doors opening and closing while people get stuck between them.
The driver, trying to mask his impatience: “Ladies and gentlemen, teamwork makes the dream work, please stand clear of the doors.”
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Ugh, dad, you’re so embarrassing
At the tidal basin during the cherry blossoms’ peak bloom:
Nerdy dad holds Digital SLR camera out with one hand and takes a picture himself with family. He brings the camera in, reviews the picture and says proudly: “Who needs a selfie stick?! That picture is spot on!”
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Party time makes you invincible
On the Orange Line towards New Carrollton:
Two really drunk women in their twenties slurring their speech suddenly realize they’ve been on the wrong train for awhile.
One gets up to get off at the next stop only to take a terrible fall, slamming into the seats as the train stops suddenly. Other passengers crowd around her to see if she’s ok.
Other woman: “She’s ok, she just had a really bad day… and it’s Friday!”
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You gotta try the jalapeño poppers
10 p.m. as the Nats game ends:
Two young folks have been droning on about Republicans, Hillary, and Global Warming.
Girl: “Want to go dancing? Where is the Rock & Roll Hotel?!”
Guy: “The Hard Rock?”
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Using this phrase from now on
On a sidewalk Bethesda:
A woman is carrying a pizza box and walking her large German shepherd. As another dog approaches, she tells her dog to sit, but the German shepherd excitedly jumps up and lurches forward.
Woman to her dog: “Don’t you dare jeopardize my pizza!”
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Looking on the bright side
On the 80 bus headed toward Fort Totten during rush hour, on the eve of a thunderstorm:
Bus driver says to passenger after pointing out a rainbow in the sky ahead: “Look at that! Ain’t it pretty? Think there’s a pot of gold on the other side?”
Passenger: “If there is, whoever gets it is gonna have to pay taxes on it.”
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Let’s hope they mean the station. Otherwise, always funny.
Outside Union Station around 9 a.m. a sunny but windy Thursday morning:
A tourist mother to her daughter, who is complaining about the wind: “Don’t worry, sweetie; once we get inside the Mall it should be less open and windy.”
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Reasonableness: pass it on
Monday night at Science Club, before the thunderstorm:
Bartender, coming inside from a short break, to a couple at the bar: “It’s about to start pouring out there.”
The couple discusses how they’re going to get home in the downpour.
One: “We can take Uber to the Metro.”
Two: “C’mon! We are NOT taking Uber to the Metro.”
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At a coffee shop:
A pair of thirty-something women are having a conversation.
One says to the other: “No, jiu-jitsu, like the thing my husband does—that stupid pajama wrestling.”
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Can’t decide if delicious or gross-sounding
In the drive-thru lane at the Checkers on New York Avenue on Monday, April 20th:
A lady in a silver Suburban is ordering food in the drive thru lane.
Lady: “…And can I get a milk shake?”
Checkers employee: “What flavor?”
Lady: “Can you do Neapolitan?”
Checkers employee: “We don’t have that flavor.”
Lady: “What flavors do you have?”
Checkers employee: “Strawberry, chocolate, vanilla and banana.”
Lady: “Can you mix them?”
Checkers employee: “Yes, what flavors do you want mixed?”
Lady: “Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry.”
Checkers employee: “I’m sorry ma’am we are out of strawberry.”
Lady: “Then just mix banana.”
