Photo by Brian Allen.

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

There’s a lot of talk about how American kids are falling behind in education, with lower scores on math, science, and reading than their counterparts around the world. But maybe there’s hope? These kids have already figured out one of the secrets of D.C.

Overheard of the Week

Standing at a crosswalk across from the Foggy Bottom Metro.

Two middle-high school boys are talking to each other.

One says to the other: “Does pressing this crosswalk button even do anything?”
The other: “No. See, that’s why I should get paid to be a critic, because I am good at criticizing things.”

After the jump, tourists, jerks, and weirdos.

Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

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You’re not helping

At a Bethesda bar Monday night just before the Caps game starts:

Man sits down at the bar and asks for a Yuengling.

Bartender: “Sorry the Yeungling is tapped, we’re all out.” (rolls her eyes).
Man: “Guess I’m not the only one having a case of the Mondays!”

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Don’t tell mom

On the 31 bus from Tenleytown to Foggy Bottom on Wednesday afternoon:

A group of 20 4th graders are on the bus, accompanied by a teacher, a weary-looking woman in her late 20s or early 30s who has been shushing the kids since they got on the bus. Someone made a joke about cockroaches and one of the boys is freaking out.

Teacher: “Calm down. First of all, there are cockroaches at school.”
Boy: “Cockroaches at SCHOOL?!”

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Tourists: unsavory elements coming into town

At the Tidal Basin during the Cherry Blossom crowd a few weeks ago:
context unknown…

Tourist father says loudly to wife and daughter: “Well, we’ll shoot some Motrin anyway.”

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Fitness is very important

12:15 pm Friday outside of Solidcore in Mt. Vernon Square:

A group of about 10 people in workout gear is standing in front of Le Pain Quotidien waiting to get into Solidcore.

1st woman: “I think it’s cancelled.”
2nd woman: “It’s cancelled?”
1st guy (walking back to group after a phone call): “I think it’s cancelled.”
3rd woman: “What? It’s cancelled? (screams) DAMMIT!!”

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Then again, maybe exercise results in this

On the Red Line headed to Silver Spring, between Ft. Totten and Takoma, near Blair Road NE:

Two young white men post-work out chatting with one another about the benefits of sweat when one stops mid-sentence and says to the other:

“I love these houses along here. They’re just so plain and poor-looking. I don’t think I could ever be rich because I love the look of poverty so much.”

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So close

Friday afternoon around 2 PM, at the entrance of the Library of Congress:

A middle aged woman eagerly pulls out her cell phone to take a photo of the building: “Wow! The Supreme Court is so beautiful!”

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Civility: pass it on

In Foggy Bottom:

A group of three young women are walking together, possibly going back to their classes. One girl presumably bumps into another and exclaims: “It’s really hard for me to walk in a straight line in a group!”

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Thank you, random weirdo

On U Street Friday night:

A couple are walking, hand in hand.

Passerby: “That’s some Notebook shit right there! You better marry that!”

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