Photo by Phil
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
D.C., like most of the country, has seen a marked increase in security measures over the last decade: more fences, more metal detectors, more guards, more walls, and fewer places the public can go. There’s the worry that putting government buildings behind more walls means it’s making it less connected to the public. At the same time, the capitol city seems like an obvious target. It’s been a long debate, but now it’s settled: we have too much security.
Overheard of the Week
Tuesday morning at National Airport:
TSA agent while rolling her eyes at man being questioned: “Did you REALLY just bring queso through security?”
After the jump, tourists, drunk dudes, and goofballs.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Advanced techniques
On the 90 bus going north to U Street:
Guy to friend after a brief phone conversation: “I can’t believe he didn’t even bring a flask.”
Friend: “…or even mixed a roadie in an empty Kombucha bottle.”
Stranger: “… and all this time I was sneaking my mixed drinks in coffee mugs.”
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A brilliant plan
On the Blue line heading into D.C. from Van Dorn Street:
A young couple are discussing how there needs to be more security at Metro stations.
Man: “They could go up to them and say ‘Stop, we are undercover Metro!'”
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Many have wondered
Late night on Spring Road near 14th Street:
Twenty-something guy to his friends: “Why do you see so much penis!? Why do you see so much unsolicited penis?”
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Please leave
On a bus from NYC to D.C., with a stop in Baltimore:
Young professional man to his buddy: “I’ve did cocaine in Baltimore once, so I’ve basically been to D.C.”
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Generally we do not encourage drunk people on the train, but this was pretty good.
On an extremely crowded Green Line train after the Nats game, a few moments after the train pulls away from Navy Yard:
Drunk twenty-something bro, purposely loud: “I heard there’s free beer at Waterfront!”
Unfortunately, it didn’t work.
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What we learned here: don’t help tourists
On a Red Line train at Union Station, headed toward Shady Grove:
Woman 1 asks a stranger, Woman 2, loudly: “Is this Gallery? Is this Gallery?”
Another stranger, Woman 3, responds: “No, it’s Union Station.”
Woman 1 snarks back: “I’m not from here, that’s why I asked!”
Woman 3, bemused: “Yes, that’s why I answered you.”
Woman 1 then curses Woman 3 out for the remainder of the ride to Gallery Place-Chinatown, death threats included.
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Ew, yucky
At 2nd and Massachusetts Avenue NE:
Two 20-30 somethings and a young teen are walking.
One of the 20-somethings, incredulously, to the teen: “Also, sex is normal!”
Younger: “Well, like…”
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It takes a lot of work to get nothing done
In Cannon House Office Building:
One Congressional staffer to another: “I just want to exercise and eat and sleep, because I haven’t really done that lately.”
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Who knew Rockville was so sexy
At the Rockville Metro:
Girlfriend to boyfriend. “Aren’t you tired of wearing those dress clothes? I’d be itching to be out of them if I were you.”
Boyfriend, mostly serious: “If you want to take them off of me, you can right now.”
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She makes a valid point
In Crystal City:
Four twenty-something female professionals are eating lunch outside. One is talking about a visit to the beach.
“So they stopped us because we had a cooler.”
“They don’t allow alcohol there?”
“No! Why even have a beach?”
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And finally, welcome to D.C.
Tuesday, 10 a.m. on Capitol Hill:
Little girl, approximately 7 years old on a field trip: “Why are we sweating from only walking?”
