Photo by Angela N.

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

Mother’s Day was a couple of weeks ago, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still think about mothers. Or not, as it were.

Overheard of the Week

At Kangaroo Boxing Club on Saturday night:

Dude to a group of friends: “I’m kinda worried that my mother has her nipples pierced, but on the bright side I’ll never know.”

His friend says something and he replies: “Yeah, I’m pretty concerned about it.”

After the jump, tourists, parades, yoga and more.

Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

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These natural cures are getting more unusual every day

At Nicecream Factory in Arlington:

A twenty-something guy with a group of four friends waiting for ice cream: “I applied the semen.” (Makes rubbing motion under eyes.)

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That would be something

On 17th Street near Dupont after Stonewall Kickball on Thursday night:

20-something girl walking up and seeing the participants:

“Oh, now I understand what Stonewall Kickball is. For some reason I thought it was a bunch of Southerners playing kickball to commemorate Stonewall Jackson.”

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If you are opposed to brunch and condos, this is true

Outside of Union Station:

A couple in their 40s are on Capital Bikeshare.

Wife to husband: “Which way is the bad area?”
Husband points west: “That way.”

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Samesies

Tuesday evening, at Thrive Yoga in Rockville:

Two women in their 40’s are chatting before class begins.

3rd woman asks woman 1: “Which class is this: restorative or hot yoga?”
Woman 1: “This is restorative yoga”
(Woman thanks her and walks away.)
Woman 2: “Yeah, I can’t do hot yoga. I can’t even do summer.”

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I want to party with this guy

At the Memorial Day Parade:

One twenty something to his group of friends, “What do I know about history…I came here for the giant potato.” He was looking at the Famous Idaho Potato Tour float. Then he left.

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Exactly

Outside Drafting Table on 14th Street NW:

A woman who is only speaking in up-talk to her friends: “I feel like? …Rwanda? …Was the epitogee?”

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Almost as good as the franking privilege

At the MLK Memorial as two helicopters fly in the direction of the White House:

Man to woman: “Traffic doesn’t even exist for Barack Obama. Like, literally. That’s power.”

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Being fit, part 1

In the elevator of an office building near Farragut Square:

A 20-something woman to her colleague: “I was gonna take the stairs, but my Fitbit is in my office charging, so there’s no point.”

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Dudes getting deep

Wednesday evening on the Red line headed downtown from Silver Spring:

Two men in their early thirties, smelling heavily of booze, are sharing thoughts about each other’s life purpose.

The more drunk of the two says: “You know, it’s like that quote from Gandalf, ‘All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.'”

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Being fit, part 2

At 24th and N St NW:

A gym-everyday coworker returns from his first SoulCycle class.

Fit coworker: “It didn’t even make me want to throw up.”

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And finally, a discerning palate

In the beer aisle inside the H Street Giant on Memorial Day:

Two late 20-something guys pursuing perusing the beer selection around 5 p.m.

Dude 1 to Dude 2: “My beer speed is somewhere between Bud Light and stout.”