Photo by Victoria Pickering.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
They’re here again: the hordes who fill downtown sidewalks, keep the Hard Rock Cafe in business, and buy all the dumbest-looking hats and t-shirts. They provide a lot of tax dollars, but are damned annoying while doing it.
Overheard of the Week
On Metro:
A tourist high school group crowds onto the train.
Guy 1: “We’re going to Ben’s Chili Bowl.”
Guy 2: “Is that Mexican?”
Guy 1: “The name of it is Ben’s Chili Bowl.”
Guy 2: “So is it Mexican?”
Guy 1: “It’s chili, so yeah, I guess it’s South American or something.
After the jump, reporters, parents and more tourists.
——
Boohoo
On the elevator at the National Press Building:
Two reporter types are speaking Japanese, then another talks to them in English.
Guy: “Was there any news at the briefing?”
Reporter: “I wasn’t paying attention. I hate the White House. Well, not hate, but I always fall asleep.”
They get off the elevator.
——
Don’t worry about our kids, they are fine. The parents, however …
On the Red line:
A tourist family is talking about Star Wars.
Boy (around ten years old): “I HATE Darth Vader!”
Mother: “Hey, we do not use the H word!”
——
Right
Two twenty-something women lounging at Banneker pool:
Woman #1: “I’m not too sure about Christian Mingle. Knowing me, I’d end up with a Duggar. I’m not about that.”
Woman #2 (nods in agreement): “Mhmm, you are progressive!”
——
We educated
At the Tour de Fat Festival at the Navy Yard:
A couple is in costume, the woman is Little Red Riding Hood and the man is bare-chested, wearing goat leggings, horns, and carrying a pan flute.
Passerby to his 4-year old: “Look, it’s Little Red Riding Hood! And Pan!”
Little Red Riding Hood: “SEE! I TOLD you people would know who Pan is!”
Pan: “Only in D.C. MAN this is a smart town.”
——
Zing
At a store in Takoma:
Small boy, whining with all his might: “I want caaaandy!”
Mother: “Well, I want a child who behaves in stores.”
——
Culture clash
At Old Ebbitt Grill:
Three 30-somethings are having dinner. Two are locals and one is visiting from Los Angeles.
Visitor from LA orders a margarita.
Local friend incredulously asks, “Margarita?”
Visitor: “Why, is that not a D.C. appropriate drink?”
——
Good date
At Kangaroo Boxing Club, late at night:
Man: “I’m really drunk.”
Woman: “Yeah?
Man: “Yeah. Let’s have a really good conversation. Let’s have a conversation about the Greek debt crisis.”
They talk about dinosaurs.
——
Tourists are here.
On the Yellow line on a Wednesday afternoon:
Girl 1: “We should have gone to Arlington Cemetery.”
Girl 2: “No, it’s too sad.”
Girl 3: “Right, you didn’t even want to go to the Holocaust Museum because it was so sad.”
Girl 1: “Do you know anyone buried there?”
Girls 2&3: “Nope.”
——
Rites of passage
Exiting the Navy Yards metro, a mom is walking with her young daughter”
Daughter (excitedly): “How old will I be when I get my own card?”
Mom: “When you are five.”
Daughter: “Is that soon? Is it next week?”
——
Alright then
On the Orange line at 10:30 on Thursday:
Two teenagers are deeply discussing something unintelligible. What I did hear is:
Teen 1: “So somewhere like north of Seattle?”
Teen 2: “No, I’m thinking like a really rural town in like Switzerland. With sheep. And a really old IBM computer. “
