Photo by Eric Spiegel
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
Summer is here with a vengeance. It’s hot, it’s humid, people are sweaty, the tourists are everywhere. We’re with this lady.
It’s hot out there.
At Busboys & Poets at 5th and K during lunchtime:
A man and a woman in their late 30s walk in and request a table.
Hostess: “Would you like to sit inside or outside?”
Man and woman look at each other.
Woman: “Whatever is fine.”
Hostess: “Well it’s your choice.”
Woman: “Umm.”
Hostess: “I will say that I can’t guarantee shade…”
Woman: “Oh hell no! I mean if you can find shade then we’ll take it.”
After the jump, tourists, sports, rainbows, and more.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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They may need to work on their branding
Outside the Foggy Bottom Metro:
Young woman 1: “So what’d you do last weekend?”
Young woman 2: “Well, Friday night I think I went to this sangria and music deal at the Sculpture Garden.”
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I’d watch that show
At the National Portrait Gallery’s Eye Pop exhibition:
Young tween tourist emphatically asks her mother: “Is this Oprah?!” and gestures to a portrait of Michelle Obama.
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Tourists never fail to amuse
A school group is at the Air and Space Museum:
Girl to her friend: “I was about to ask you where you’re from but then I remembered we came here together.”
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Who says there aren’t D.C. sports fans, part 1
Nats park, Sunday afternoon:
Kid: “It’s boring.”
Mom: “It’s boring? Yeah, well it’s a baseball game.”
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Sounds unhealthy
Two 20-something women walking together in an office:
Woman 1 to Woman 2: “Just so you know, I’m gushing. I try really hard to internalize my gush but…”
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And it’s still only early summer
On the Green line at L’Enfant heading towards Nats Park:
The train is completely packed and those on board are asking people to step back onto the platform. A family crams themselves on anyway.
Between L’Enfant and Waterfront:
Child: “I don’t want to be crushed! I don’t want to be crushed! Up! up! Up!” (He repeats this incessantly for the rest of the ride.)
At Waterfront the car empties out just barely enough for all to breathe.
Woman starts lifting the child repeatedly to try and swing on overhead bar. There is obviously not room for this. The child misses repeatedly and hits woman standing behind family.
Father to child: “Oh, you should say you’re sorry to her.”
Mother: “Yes, say you’re sorry.” To woman: “She could give you a back rub. She gives really good back rubs!”
The car full of people collectively shakes their heads at the family.
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Who says there aren’t D.C. sports fans, part 2
At a Nats game:
Two 40-year old men are sitting next to each other, talking. The second man has his kids with him.
Man 1: “I got these OxyContin and I really like them.”
Man 2: “Yeah, they’re addictive.”
A little later, the man’s kids want to go to the playground.
Man 1: “I need to take a picture to show my wife I was at the game and not Good Guys.”
Man 2: “Or the playground.”
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A perfect storm
On 14th and K, two days before Congressional Baseball Game and two days before “National Seersucker Day”:
Dude: “I’m going to wear my seersucker to the Congressional Baseball Game!”
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On days like today, you see where they’re coming from
Two yuppie women talking on a rush hour S9 bus:
“I sold my soul for a rooftop. Sometimes I feel bad about it. Then I go up and see the pool.”
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And finally, Overheard is not all dumb people and ridiculous stuff
At Logan Hardware:
A dad is with his maybe three-year old daughter.
Dad: “We’re going to a parade on Saturday.”
Daughter: “What kind of parade?”
Dad: “Well uh…it’s kind of a rainbow parade.”
Daughter (barely able to contain herself): “A real rainbow parade??! Rainbows! Rainbows! Rainbows!”
The dad and little girl march out the store to meet her other daddy who is waiting outside.
