Photo by Tony Quinn.

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.

The Nats are playing well and Bryce Harper is having a fantastic season: he’s in the top five in homers, runs batted in, batting average, and more. His great play is overshadowing his much-discussed attitude, and he’s getting a lot of press and notice around the country. But we don’t know everything about him.

Overheard of the Week

At Nationals Park:

A twenty-something young woman and her out-of-town parents are talking.

Mom: “Where is Bryce Harper from?”
Daughter: “I’m not sure, but he is a Mennonite.”
Dad: “If he’s Mennonite he is probably from Pennsylvania.”
Daughter: “Yeah, I think that’s right.”

After the jump, funny dates, weird dudes, and cool old ladies.

Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

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We feel sorry for you

On 14th Street NW near P Street:

Three or four twenty-something women strolling, eating Dolcezza gelato.

Woman 1 to Woman 2: “Yeah, I’m so broke this month I can’t even afford to pay the house cleaner.”

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Cannonball!

Sunday at Banneker Pool:

Late twenties/early thirties man to two women: “She had pubic hair down to her knees!!”
The women seem amused, say somethihng unintelligible.
Guy: “Yeah, it was like she had an animal down there!”

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Is this some slang we are not cool enough to understand? Maybe a carton fell over?

at Stoney’s during the U.S. women vs. Sweden soccer game:

A mid-twenties woman is talking to her date after a Sweden corner kick:

Woman: “Those Swedish players! They just came in like a bunch of honeydews!”
Date: “Umm … like a bunch of what?”
Woman: “They ran in, like a pack of honeydews!”
Date: “Totally.”

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OMG so kewl

At the Brookland Farmers Market:

A younger couple is looking at some vegetables at a vendor’s table, deciding what to buy.

Man to vendor: “I’ll have to come back. All I have on me is Peruvian money.”

Vendor: [glares]

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Yes, that’s it

Mid-twenties fraternity/sorority-looking couple in the elevator of a luxury apartment building in Logan Circle:

Girl: “I can’t believe you don’t even carry a mail key. It’s a perfect example of how you’re irresponsible and just expect me to do everything.”
Guy: “It’s called being a baller.”

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In that case, I am REALLY out of shape

On 15th Street NW near the Treasury Department:

Mother starts explaining how Capital Bikeshare works. She confidently concludes lesson with, “And the bikes are electric too!”

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Ahead of his time

In Statuary Hall in the Capitol in April:

A tourist couple in their mid-sixties and their twenty-something son are looking around.

Man: “Can you believe they have statues of Confederate generals in here!? They should blow those things up.”

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He has a point

At the bus stop on P Street at 17th Street NW:

Guy is sitting in the bus stop finishing off a roach with a cop standing right over him.

Cop: “You can’t do that here.”
Man: “This is D.C. They made it legal.”
Cop: “Yeah, but only in your house.”
Man: “I’m homeless! This *IS* my house!”

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I hope to be this cool when I grow up

Two senior citizens doing morning walk on track at Banneker Community Center:

One woman to the other: “I wasn’t wearing a bra that day. So, of course, I put my key in a tree.”

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See you there!

At the Akron, Ohio airport, boarding a flight to National Airport:

Boy, about 8-10-years-old, asks his mother: “What does the D.C. stand for?”
Mom: “Dominican Republic.”