Photo by Victoria Pickering.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
People have a lot of complaints about Metro, and many are totally valid: unreliability; constant track work; trains and buses not showing up when they’re supposed to. But sometimes there are some really nice things about it that we might forget about—like the train operators.
Overheard of the Week
On the Yellow Line towards Mt. Vernon Square approaching L’Enfant:
A very friendly train operator is thanking everyone for riding: “I do thank you for choosing Metro. Without you, there is no me. And for that, I am eternally grateful.”
After the jump, less sweet stuff from dummies, jerks, and goofballs.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Herman
At the corner of 11th and U Streets NW on Saturday night:
Two young women dressed up for the night out.
Woman 1 to woman 2: “Why is Jesus’s middle name ‘H’?!”
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Attention Maury Povich
Tuesday at Rocket Bar:
Two mid-to-late thirty-something men in suits are talking.
Man 1, Slurring: “All I’m saying is, next kid I have, I’m insisting on a paternity test.”
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Humanitarian!
Wednesday around lunchtime at Taylor Gourmet at 19th and M Street NW:
Two well dressed women in their late twenties/early thirties are talking about their careers:
First woman: “You know, my next job … I want to help people. Poor people. Not Americans. But I really need to have a nice apartment, too.”
Second woman: “So, South Africa?”
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Oh really?
On the Franconia-bound Blue line train all the way from Metro Center to Rosslyn:
Train operator: “Next stop [enter stop here], doors open on the platform side.”
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Not an Outkast fan
At National Airport on the Sunday after the giant travel snafu:
Two women are standing on the rebooking line.
After a long pause, Woman 1: “Do you think people just go to the airport and buy a ticket to a random destination like in the movies?”
Woman 2: “Yeah, and they get flagged as a terrorist and end up in Atlanta or some other crappy hub.”
Woman 1: (disappointed) “Oh, that’s not like the movies at all.”
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Welcome to D.C.
On C Street outside the Rayburn House Office Building:
Two men walking and talking about the Ashley Madison hack: “I love it; there’s finally a wide ranging scandal involving questionable morals that I’m not implicated in!”
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Step 1, open eyes, step 2, go a few stops on the Metro
Riding the Red Line to Glenmont, going between Union Station and NoMa, passing the NoMa Summer Screen area as a movie is finishing:
Older woman (mother): “Back home we have an outdoor summer movie series.”
Middle-aged daughter: “Yeah I think we have one too, on the National Mall. But definitely not around here.”
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And finally, let’s use this from now on
At the top of the Observation Tower at the National Cathedral:
Family with two little kids, under the age of 8 or so, looking out over a D.C. scene that includes the Washington Monument:
Dad: “Look, you can see all of D.C. from up here.”
Little kid, in a very excited voice: “I see the big pencil!!”
