Photo by Paul Cortez
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Perceptions of our fair city have changed a lot in recent years: it’s hip, it’s cool, it’s expensive, and so on. But some haven’t changed, and probably for good reason.
On a Yellow line train pulling into Pentagon City:
Two government contractors are discussing their industry.
First contractor: “I have no problems making my engineers do something immoral, as long as it isn’t illegal.”
Second contractor nods.
Our official Overheard email address has changed! Please email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com from now on, and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
After the jump, kids, law students, 20-somethings and more.
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Real friends would brave it
On a Bethesda sidewalk on Thursday evening:
Young 20-something woman: “Oh my god! It’s like no one cares! Why doesn’t anyone want to go out for my birthday?!”
Man (presumably her boyfriend): “BECAUSE THERE’S A FUCKING HURRICANE!”
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Overthinking it
At Cava in Columbia Heights, about 8 pm:
Woman to friends: “That’s why I have two gyms. A work gym, for my classes, and a play gym, for just… you know, working out.”
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One sounds like a viable career option
Near the Georgetown Law campus:
“I just decided to go to law school, okay? I am a cannabis grower by occupation.”
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Not quite experts at French
At a French restaurant near the National Cathedral:
Four well-dressed early 40s women are talking.
One of the women, when ordering the steak frites: “Does that come with fries?”
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Aww
In the Target grocery section:
4-year-old boy, calm for little boy standards: “Moooommm. I have to pee.”
Mom: “Again? What are you, pregnant?”
An employee nearby hears them as they are beginning the hike to the front of the store: “Ma’am, I can take you to one closer than the one in the front.”
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Perfect for each other?
On 14th Street on a Saturday afternoon:
A couple is walking on the sidewalk.
Guy: “It’s weird that there are, like, no Taco Bells in D.C.”
Girl (without a hint of sarcasm or irony): “It’s really tragic.”
(editor’s note: there are three in D.C.)
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True story, I knew a guy who got scurvy in college. All he ever ate was steak, Cheez Whiz, and toast.
At the Foggy Bottom Whole Foods:
One GW undergrad talking to two others, standing in front of the prepared fruit: “… I haven’t had a piece of fruit in years!”
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We feel bad for you
Near Dupont Circle:
Woman talking to friends/coworkers: “My parents don’t pay for anything… not since I forgot the credit card number.”
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He’s Segway tour guide material
Near 15th and R NW on Monday afternoon:
Two early 30-something men are walking.
Man one: “Back in the day only rich people lived in D.C. so that’s why there are all of these large amazing houses here.”
Man two, thoughtfully: “Ohhh.”
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And finally, we’ve won!
On 18th Street in the evening:
Woman on cell phone: “Have you not been hearing about this? What’s the name? I think it starts with a J, it’s like, French, it might have a Q in it? I feel like I’m going to end up on Overheard in DC, trying to remember the name of this hurricane.”
