Photo by Ted Eytan

Photo by Ted Eytan

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

Oh, interns. Sometimes they make the gears of government turn, sometimes… not so much.


Overheard of the Week

Wednesday evening, on the Red line at Rhode Island Avenue, headed toward Glenmont:

Early 20s woman on gets on the train talking on her phone: “Yeah, I just came from [some event] talking about making myself more marketable and increasing my hireability.”

(Pause)

“Yeah, I just look at what they have their interns do and say I did it. Oh, did I tell you about the really great internship opportunity I got with the DOJ?! Yeah, I just told them I did all that stuff.”

(Goes through the tunnel between Rhode Island and Brookland.)

“Hello? Hey, you there?”

(She then realizes the whole train is looking at her having this conversation, sits down, and starts talking much more quietly.)

After the jump, cool moms, the worst moms, and CANDY!

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, where and in what context.

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Fun is evil

Near Penn Quarter on Oct. 30th:

A mom is walking her 5 year old and carrying her infant to her waiting SUV.

“Mom: “So what are we doing tomorrow?”
5 year old: “Dinner and church!”
Mom: “That’s right.”
5 year old: “No devil for me!”
Mom: “That’s right we don’t go out on devil’s night, do we?”

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Ok man, see you on Mars

On the Silver line to Reston, Oct. 29:

A middle-aged nerdy type: “I have a 10-ounce can of anti-matter. I only needed a smidge, but you have to buy the whole 10 ounces.”
His friend: “Have you used it yet?”
Nerd guy: “No… and the thing they really get you on is, if you have the anti-matter, you also need the containment device.”

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Mansplaining: it’s for everybody!

Wilson Blvd at Courthouse Metro Station Friday morning around 10 a.m.:

A man in his mid-30s is lecturing to a group of three younger men in their early 20s.

Man: “Do you know who Bobby Kennedy is? (Pause) Ok, he was one of the Kennedys.”

He continues to lecture them.

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At some point, liking candy becomes less cool

On Halloween in Arlington:

Two early- to mid- teenage boys are talking.

First, super excited: “Sugar Babies! I love these things! They’re like Skittles but with caramel inside!”
Second: “Dude! I know you like candy but chill!”

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That would be pretty scary

Near Dupont:

Two Stonewall Kickball players are talking about Halloween.

Player 1: “Halloween in D.C. is pretty awful. Just like the High Heel Race, it’s a total bridge and tunnel crowd.”
(Player 2 has a perplexed look on his face.)
Player 1: “Bridge and tunnel as in suburban crowd coming in by the bridges and tunnels… it’s originally a Manhattan reference…”
Player 2: “Oh right, I thought you meant they lived under the bridges and in the tunnels.”

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This mom rules

On a crowded 30 bus:

A woman and her identical twin boys get on and one seat is available. The mom tells the boys to share the seat, and one of them complains

Mom: “You shared my uterus, I think you can share a seat.”

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They both have food?

At the Corner Bakery on 14th and Vermont Avenue NW during the Tuesday afternoon rush:

Two tourists, a teenager and his dad, are having lunch.

Teenager: “This place is like Bob Evans.”
Dad: “It’s an upscale bakery.”
Teenager: “It’s still like Bob Evans.”

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Well, she’s not wrong

On a White House tour walking out of the East Wing:

Man: “Well, the East Wing was nice, but I’d still like to see the West Wing.”
Young Woman: “The West Wing tickets are much harder to come by.”
Older Woman (potentially her mother): “Oh, where is the West Wing?”
Young Woman: “On the other side.”