Photo by ep_jhu
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Having a family means you have a lot of big decisions to make—what kind of family do you want to be? What’s important to you? Big stuff.
Overheard of the Week
Near Union Station around lunchtime:
Older/middle aged man in socks and Birkenstocks, on the phone: “I know, that’s something we discussed as a family, and that’s why you don’t see us cooking broccoli.”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
After the jump: the post office, kids, drugs, and more.
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Newman!
At the ophthalmologist:
A grandmother, mother, and grandkid come in together. Grandma hands her granddaughter a card.
Grandma: “For some reason the post office returned your card to me.”
Mom: “Did you just put her name on it and mail it?”
Grandma: “No, I put the street name.”
Mom: “But not the number?”
Grandma: “How many Lovejoys can there be on that street?”
Mom: “There’s a lot of houses.
Grandma: “But how many Lovejoys could there be? They can figure it out.”
Mom: “(Sigh) That’s not their job…”
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Like the saying goes about clean underwear
At the hair salon:
“She had her hair done at the salon and two hours later she was dead. I’d like to have MY hair done the same day I die.”
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Oh, kids
October 30th around 5 p.m. on the Silver line towards Largo:
A child in a Cookie Monster costume sitting in a seat patiently tells his mom: “It smells funny in here.”
He then proceeds to put his tongue on the handrail next to the door.
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Bring ’em in, then give ’em the kicker
On the Cardozo High School track:
A group of three young thirty-somethings jogging and gossiping.
Woman: “I do drugs, I do drugs, I do drugs, I do drugs. That’s what I tell people, I do drugs. Drug technology. I work in drugs technology and administration.”
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Can’t imagine why
In an elevator of the Madison Building at the Library of Congress on November 10th, at around noon:
A middle-aged male employee in a motorcycle jacket enters, and a female employee greets him. She notices his backpack.
Her: “Heading home?”
Him: (Sighs) “I gotta take the dipshit to the psychiatrist.”
Her: “…Your son?”
Him: “Yeah.”
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Big questions
On the L1 bus to Chevy Chase around 6 pm:
A twenty-something nanny and two kids, both blonde around 9 or 10 and chatty, get on the bus.
Little Girl: “How did God grow so big to be in the sky?”
Nanny: “You should really ask your parents these things.”
Little Girl: “I have so much questions about God.”
Later in the same conversation…
Little Girl: “When you were born, did they have phones?”
Nanny: “They didn’t have cell phones, no.”
Little Girl: “Psh.”
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Maybe there was treasure in there?>
Three women in their thirties are about to cross 12th Street SW near Maryland Ave:
Woman One: “But how did he know to stick his hand in your popcorn?”
Woman Two: “I DON’T [overly dramatic pause] KNOW!”
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That seems reasonable
At Cleveland Park Bar & Grill on Tuesday:
A man and a woman in their late 20s or early 30s are talking.
Man: “Beating the shit out of someone is not more honorable than having sex.”
Woman: “Right…”
