Photo by La Tur
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and you can check out the archives here.
Aside from tourists mistaking the White House for the Capitol, interns being dumb, and “the Red line is experiencing delays,” is this the most D.C. thing ever?
Overheard of the Week
At Le Diplomat during brunch
A guy is discussing with a female friend that he’s looking for a new job; apparently he’d like to get out of the CIA: “I have skills that don’t exactly translate into resume format.”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Do What Now
At Farragut Square
One late 20s/early 30s woman to her same demographic friend at Farragut Square, crossing street: “There’s no yoga right now, but we can go fuck Verizon. Do you want to go fuck Verizon? I’m gonna get an iPad.”
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Getting Old
At the Dupont District Taco
Two mid-30s dudes at the salsa bar. Weezer’s “Island in the Sun” starts playing. The first dude starts singing along to the intro “hep hep” part and says to his friend: “I love R.E.M. This was a good choice.”
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Someone Didn’t Read The Menu’s 200 Rules
At Saloon in U St. Saturday night, two men and woman walk to the bar
Man: (To his friends) “I’m just gonna get a Bud Light.” (To the bartender). “Do you have Bud Light?”
Bartender: “Mmm, no.”
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Ew
At Dulles
A woman is preparing for her TSA pat down and looking defiant: “You’re gonna need two pairs of gloves for this one!”
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A Real Brain Buster
On the Green/Yellow Line towards Greenbelt during Friday evening rush hour
Middle-aged woman on her phone asks the person on the other end: “Is PG Plaza in Prince George’s County?” She then starts asking/yelling it to no one in particular on the train. No one replied or acknowledged her.
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He Would Be A Pretty Awesome Councilmember
At the City Center tree lighting, and Councilmember Jack Evans is speaking onstage
Man to woman: “Is that Joe Biden?”
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Never Forget
At the 9/11 exhibit at the Newseum. A husband and wife in their mid-30s walk up to a large photo of the the World Trade Centers after the 1st tower was hit.
Wife: “Oh yeah, I remember that.”
Husband: (turns and stares dumbfoundedly at her) “Yeah, I think everybody does.”
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Yuh oh
At the Renwick Gallery in the Folding the Chesapeake exhibit (a rendering of the Chesapeake Bay in glass marbles)
A boy reached out and started playing with one of the marbles. The guard started walking over, loudly saying, “Do not touch the exhibit!” As the guard started rolling the marble back, the boy, now in his parent’s arms, reached out and pushed her.
Guard to the parents: “Do not move! I’m getting some additional security.”
Boy to his dad: “Am I going to be arrested?”
Guard: “Yes!” as she walked away.
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This Is Who Lives In Expensive Condos
Waiting in line for the pop-up Christmas Bar in Shaw
Snobby ‘hipster’ woman walks by: “For a Christmas Bar? Really? That is just sad.”
Person in line: “Sadder that killing puppies?!”
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Please Email Tips@dcist.com When You Do
On 14th Street outside of Barcelona/Miss Pixie’s
20-something man on his cell phone: “So I have until the 15th…” (slight pause) “to make a live unicorn.”
