Photo by ep_jhu
Overheard in D.C. has been going strong since 2006, with funny stuff, inscrutable conversations, things that make you shake your head, and even occasional heart-warming moments.
We decided to put together our favorite Overheards of the past year, with roughly two per month, as we approach the 10th anniversary of this semi-esteemed column—and our favorite is at the end. Let us know in the comments if you had any favorites from this past year!
And as always, Overheard in D.C. depends on your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Collective Experience
On the Metro shortly after the release of Adele’s new album
A man is tearing up.
Stranger 1: “Are you ok?”
Man: “I’m fine, I’m just listening to the new Adele album.”
Stranger 1: “Oh, that makes sense.”
Stranger 2: “That was me this morning. Some grandma gave me tissues and a butterscotch to make me feel better.”
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A Fair Association
Peet’s Penn Quarter, Saturday mid morning
Midwestern looking mother, grandmother, and young boy are sitting together.
Woman: “What are those things in Harry Potter that eat your soul?”
Other woman: “Dementors. Why?”
Woman: “I was thinking of Donald Trump.”
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Go On
At the Passenger Friday night
One guy to another guy: “I have a friend in Minnesota who only has two fingers. He’s our go-to when we need to measure drinks.”
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Illuminating
On the Metro at 8:30 p.m. on New Year’s Eve
Young guy with purple hair, in a very one-sided conversation with a stranger sitting behind him: “She put a candle in her butt. And the first thing I thought was, ‘Man, I’m never gonna find love.’”
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Wise Choice
At the 14th & U Circulator stop
Woman on the phone: “Yeah, he dips his cigarettes in embalming fluid, you know, like they use on deceased people, so I don’t hang out with him, you know what I’m saying?”
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You Said It
Outside a D.C. law school
Him: “Hey, I haven’t seen you since that one class we had together…[says name of class.]”
Her: “That’s right. How are you?”
Him: “That was a great class. Some great statutes.”
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The Good Old Days
On an eastbound Silver line train near Capitol South
Two women in their early twenties are talking.
Woman 1: “I’d love to be 21 again.”
Woman 2: “Yeah?”
Woman 1: “Yeah, being 22 just isn’t as great. I mean, this time last year I was vomiting in my pants.”
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He Would Be A Pretty Awesome Councilmember
At the City Center tree lighting, and Councilmember Jack Evans is speaking onstage
Man to woman: “Is that Joe Biden?”
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We Applaud The Effort
Tuesday morning at National Airport:
TSA agent while rolling her eyes at man being questioned: “Did you REALLY just bring queso through security?”
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Welcome To D.C. In The Summer (Or Spring, Or Fall, Or Winter)
Tuesday, 10 a.m. on Capitol Hill
Little girl, approximately 7 years old, on a field trip: “Why are we sweating from only walking?”
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Well That’s Something
1 p.m. in a Capitol Hill building’s gym
Intern 1 to Intern 2: “It literally tasted like shit.”
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We Wish This Caught On As A Phrase
On a sidewalk in Bethesda
A woman is carrying a pizza box and walking her large German shepherd. As another dog approaches she tells her dog to sit, but the German shepherd excitedly jumps up and lurches forward.
Woman to her dog: “Don’t you dare jeopardize my pizza!”
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The World Waits
Early happy hour at a Logan Circle bar
Early 30s guy: ”What’s ASL for ‘bitch set me up?’”
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Neighborhood Burn
Waiting for the green line heading north at the Anacostia station
A group of four walking their bicycles join a woman sitting on a bench.
Woman: “Is it a real barbecue or like, a carrots and celery barbecue?”
Bicyclist: “It’s a Mount Pleasant barbecue.”
Woman: “So a carrots and celery barbecue.”
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Lololol
Seen on a Facebook group: “New to DC with new position. Looking for a Studio or 1 BR $800/mo by late August. Ideally placed steps from coffee, restaurants, shopping. Easy street parking.”
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The Tide Is Turning
In Cleveland Park, a couple at dinner looking over the menu
Woman: “Charcuterie?! It’s just fancy-ass Lunchables.”
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Reading Is Fundamental
On the L2 bus, 6 p.m. on a weekday
One young woman (a nanny or aunt) with a 2-year-old boy, facing across from a mom and her 4-year-old boy. The young woman and the 2-year old are reading a book called “Teeth Are Not for Biting.”
Mom: “Oh that’s a great book! We struggled with that, too.”
4-year-old, shaking head: “Teeth for biting!”
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A Rare Nice One!
On the Yellow Line towards Mt. Vernon Square approaching L’Enfant
A very friendly train operator is thanking everyone for riding: “I do thank you for choosing Metro. Without you, there is no me. And for that, I am eternally grateful.”
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Welcome To D.C., Again
On C Street outside the Rayburn House Office Building
Two men walking and talking about the Ashley Madison hack: “I love it; there’s finally a wide ranging scandal involving questionable morals that I’m not implicated in!”
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Hill Life!
In a House office building on Tuesday—the day Congress returned
Staffer: “Today sucks. Someone was pooping in my crying stall.”
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Good Luck With That
Saturday night, corner of 14th and U NW
Guy: “What bar are we meeting them at?”
Girl: [Looking at iPhone] “The one on the corner of 11th and Northwest.”
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You Have To Speak Their Language
9 p.m. Saturday at Metro Center
Man, trying to go down the escalator to get to an approaching train, yells to a group of teenagers standing on the left side: “Hashtag I suggest you get out the way!”
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Peak Brookland, Or, The Eternal Dilemma
At the playground of a Brookland charter school:
Group of mommies sitting in a circle: “Would you rather eat all organic, non-local food, or all non-organic, local food?”
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This Mom Rules
On a crowded 30 bus
A woman and her identical twin boys get on and one seat is available. The mom tells the boys to share the seat, and one of them complains.
Mom: “You shared my uterus, I think you can share a seat.”
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Danger
On M Street, weekend afternoon
A woman in her mid-20’s is stumbling down the street and wails: “I BRUNCHED TOO HARD!”
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Clearly You Are Not Very Good At Your Current Job, Either
At Le Diplomate during brunch
A guy is discussing with a female friend that he’s looking for a new job after explaining he’d like to get out of the CIA: “I have skills that don’t exactly translate into resume format.”
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Holiday parties!
Men’s room at the D.C. Young Republicans Christmas party
Drunk Bro 1: “I try to be festive 363 days a year.”
Drunk Bro 2: “What about the other 5?”
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And Finally, Overheard Of The Year?
At the Papal parade on the Ellipse
Group of older ladies near the front: “Quick! He is almost here. He’s kissing babies. We need a baby.”
Younger lady in the back: “I have one!”
Older gentleman near the front: “We need a cuter baby!”
