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Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
The snow is here! You can go sledding or ski dancing! But this weather is not all fun and games.
Overheard of the Week
Halfway through a mandatory equal employment opportunity training on Tuesday:
60+ yr old senior executives: “So you hear about what the European models say?”
Entire room of 35+ people all gasp.
Him: “NO NO NO, NOT THOSE MODELS! WEATHER, I AM TALKING ABOUT WEATHER. Crap… I mean darn. There goes the rest of our afternoon.”
After the jump, dummies, smarties, weather prep and more.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Goals
Walking down a sidewalk near Dupont Circle Sunday night:
Middle-aged woman to her friend: “I should go find the ugliest ambassador around and marry him.”
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Stealing this
In an office in D.C.:
Three mid-late 20’s guys discussing the doughnut holes provided by another coworker, specifically how many each ate.
In defense of only eating 1 doughnut, one of them says: “Yeah, but you still have ‘skinny guy’ metabolism. I have ‘Coke Zero’ metabolism.”
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Yup
On Spring Road NW on Thursday afternoon:
A group of kids have just left school.
Girl, screaming: “Holy fricking shit it’s cold!!!!”
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Not cut out for the trivia team
A large, loud group of early 20-somethings wait in line to be seated at the Arlington Silver Diner Sunday at noon:
Girl: [Looking at a Michael Jackson video playing] “Is that Rick Ross?”
Boy 1: “No, that’s Michael Jackson.”
Girl: “Oh right, but did you know that Rick Ross was a terrible person? He abducted and raped like a dozen girls. Doesn’t that ruin the song ‘Super Freak’ for you?”
Man in line: “That was Rick James.”
Girl: “Oh, ok. But the moral is, Rick James was a terrible person.”
Boy: “Yeah, and his wife wasn’t much better.”
Boy 2: “Who was his wife?”
Boy 1: “Whitney Houston.”
Everyone in line: “No.”
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Do what now
On the Red Line during rush hour in the morning:
A man and woman in their 20s are flirting.
Man: “We should go to NYC, its really affordable. Megabus is like 50 bucks.”
Woman: “Ew, no, I don’t think I can do that. I’d rather pay more for a clean train,” (very excitedly) “AND the train has really good hot dogs. I just love them!”
Man: silent.
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Please explain
Coworker commenting on the impending snow storm: “If ISIS gets the weather machine, we’re screwed.”
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A good plan
At the National Museum of American History on Saturday:
One 30-something woman to her friend: “Let’s eat somewhere we won’t hate ourselves after.”
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Metro train operators are the best
On the Silver Line train at Federal Center SW at 3:15 p.m. on Wednesday:
Metro train operator: “Customers, please do not let your smartphones and electronic devices distract you from entering the train properly. That’s a safety tip.”
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And finally, this lady gets it
At 8 a.m. this morning at the Columbia Road Safeway:
A 40-ish woman wearing a dressy wool coat and heels pushing a cart full of snacks, beer, and wine to a cashier: “What do you mean it’s too early to sell alcohol?! Have you been watching the news?!”
