Photo by Rich Renomeron
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Intercoms can be a lot of fun or very frustrating. For every hilarious Metro train operator, there’s one you can’t understand at all thanks to crummy speakers or static. It’s also important you know what you’re going to say before you broadcast it to everybody.
Overheard of the Week
In the ladies’ room at National Airport:
PA announcer: “If you are missing an infant…”
(silence)
Women in the bathroom: “What! What!”
PA announcer continues: “…car seat, please use the courtesy phone.”
After the jump, college kids who mean well, brunchers, and a rash of kids wanting to climb art.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Brunch problems
Two early-30s women are sitting at the bar drinking bottomless mimosas at DC Harvest on H St. NE:
Woman to Bartender #1: “More champagne, less orange juice.”
Bartender #1 confers with Bartender #2 (who is clearly a supervisor). Bartender #2 comes over and informs the ladies that they’re almost out of champagne, but will refill their glasses.
Woman: “OK, well then give me a big glass.”
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Please don’t
At the MLK Memorial on the Mall:
Teen girl tourist: “Ooooh, I want to climb the rock wall!”
Mom: “I don’t think that’s a rock wall…”
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Yes, see “please don’t” above
Sunday afternoon in Rock Creek Park near Tilden Street:
A man and woman, both in their 20s are walking along a trail
Man: “I mean, I understand I’m being punished for breaking off a piece of coral, but …”
Woman: nods
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Practice makes perfect
Two legislative staffers walking back into the office after lunch:
Staffer 1: “I think we’re getting a dog.”
Staffer 2: “No way? Like practice kid?
Staffer 1: “Nah, just a dog.”
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The most D.C. conversation?
At 11th and U:
Early 30s man to a early 30s woman: “I mean, technically I’m a contractor but in reality I basically AM the U.S. government.”
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A high morale workplace
In a downtown office building lobby:
Worker 1: “We’ll see if he [presumably a boss or supervisor] goes down with the ship.”
Worker 2: “We’re already underwater. We’re a submarine! And we’ve been hit by a huge torpedo!”
Worker 3: “I’d rather be on the Titanic!”
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Means well
Tuesday afternoon at an outdoor table at Chef Geoff’s near American U.:
Two undergrad women are sipping 32-ounce supermugs and chatting.
Undergrad #1: “You know, I always admire those cultures where people eat bugs. They are a true source of lean protein.”
Undergrad #2: “Yeah?”
Undergrad #1: “Seriously. You can raise bugs sustainably, but not beef. We really need to change our eating habits in the U.S.”
Undergrad #2: “Yeah, totally. “
Undergrad #1: “It’s just hard to get past the crunch. That is when I am like, ‘Oh fuck, I am eating a bug!'”
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Learning from your elders: now legal in D.C.
On the Green Line train toward Branch Avenue:
Twenty something guy to friends: “I want to be that cool grandfather who teaches you how to smoke pot.”
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And once again, see above.
Child hanging off hand sculpture in front of the Carnegie Library shouts to his family: “There are just so many climby things in this city!!”
