Photo by Nick Coutts
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
We feel you, train operator.
Overheard of the Week
While stopped in the tunnel between Gallery Place and Mt Vernon Square:
Train operator over the speaker: in the sort of deep, exasperated, yet resigned voice that sounded almost exactly like Morgan Freeman in the Shawshank Redemption: “Well, as usual… waitin’ on a Yellow line to get out the way.”
After the jump, tourists, weddings, and dudes.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Good thing you chose GW, then
Monday after Cherry Blossom Festival on GW’s Foggy Bottom Campus:
Two undergrad women are walking out of a dorm. Petals from the sole nearby tree were swirling along the sidewalk in the wind:
Woman 1: “Ugh, I hate being in the outside.”
Woman 2: “Yeah, this is WAY too much nature for me. It’s literally everywhere.”
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Where the middle of the city is right next to your hotel
Walking right next to the Treasury Building on Pennsylvania Ave, heading towards the White House:
Tourist (talking to another tourist): “I thought that the White House was going to be downtown, but it’s taken us forever to walk here from our hotel. Like, I thought it was going to be on a big street right in the middle of the city!”
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Sounds like some wedding
In the elevator of the Hart Senate Office Building:
Two twenty-something women, probably Senate staffers.
Woman 1: “He’s just a horrible, horrible person.”
Woman 2: “Was that supposed to be part of his vows or was he just drunk?”
Woman 1: “He was drunk.”
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Gotta respect the honesty
After lunch walking down 18th St NW between M and L:
A homeless man approaches a group of men.
Homeless man: “I’m selling necklaces in order to buy a bottle of whiskey. Would any of you want to help out or buy a necklace?
Guys: Various answers of “No, sorry,” followed by remarks of honesty, sadness, etc.
They reach L Street. Another group of 3 sharply dressed, late 20s/early 30s business guys walks up.
New guy 1: “You know, a bottle of whiskey would be good right about now.”
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Oh fuck!
Thursday night, around 8:30 at Glen’s Garden Market in Dupont:
A long line has formed at the salad bar. A 20-something woman in workout clothes walks directly up to the counter and wanders up and down it aimlessly. After re-joining her friends at the back of the line, she explains herself: “I almost had a kale crisis!”
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That’s one reaction
Around lunchtime in an elevator of a D.C. government office building:
It stops at another floor, and an older guy, 60s-ish, evidently not an employee based on his jeans and t-shirt, gets on.
Older guy: “Spring has sprung, my friend!”
Employee: “Yup, it’s nice, huh?”
Older guy: “I feel like going crazy!”
Employee: “In a good way, right?”
Older guy, ignoring the question: “I AM gonna go crazy, as soon as I get out of here!”
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Only tourists call it that
7:30 p.m. on a weeknight, corner of 15th and P outside of the Tortilla Coast:
Three college-aged kids are talking.
Boy: “What is DCA? What is that?”
Girl: “It’s an airport. Like Reagan.”
Boy: “Oh, I think I’ve heard of that.”
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Too late
At Le Pain Quotidien in Eastern Market on a Sunday at lunchtime:
A group of four mid-20s women:
Woman 1: “…some people love salt, like, they need it.”
Woman 2: “I found some pink Himalayan salt recently, it’s so good.”
Woman 1: “Ugh, I love pink Himalayan salt.”
Woman 2: ” I’m not a salt connoisseur, but I’m gonna be.”
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Metro Opens Doors?
On the 10 bus in Alexandria:
An older man is talking to the driver: “I gotta hand it to WMATA, they treat you right. I tore a pair of Jordans on the escalator and they sent me a check for $75. They were 10 years old and pretty worn out, but you know, new ones are selling for what, like $200?”
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Not an art lover
At the National Gallery Sat. afternoon:
A 10 or 11 year old boy sees a naked male statue: “EEEeeeewwwww!!!!”
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Perhaps you should meditate on that
At P Street Whole Foods:
Guy 1 perusing latest editions of self-healing magazines responds to guy 2:
“No, I love going to meditation class. But everyone that goes to that class is insane. Like, clinically insane.”
