Photo by Kevin Harber
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Inventing new terms can be fun or annoying; for every escalefter there’s a NoMa. But we like this one.
Overheard of the Week
In a D.C. office building hallway:
Lady co-worker: “Oh, I’m seeing Duran Duran on Friday.”
Male co-worker: “Are they playing at the Wolf Trap?”
Lady: “No, Verizon Center.”
Male: “They haven’t been Wolf-trapped yet?”
After the jump, funny kids, cool dudes, and college students.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Checks and balances, amiright?
A tourist family waits for their guide in the Capitol Visitors Center:
Dad: “Name the three branches of government.”
Son: “Ummm… the IRS… I forget the others.”
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Mixed metaphor or major medical issue?
Around 6:45 p.m. at Massachusetts and North Capitol Street:
Group of three youngish professional men in suits are walking.
One says: “The throbbing member of America; the shitstorm that is Florida.”
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Theology!
At the Chinatown Shake Shack:
20-something woman: “My family doesn’t really celebrate Easter. But I think Easter egg hunts are cool. What do the eggs symbolize? Isn’t it supposed to be like Jesus’ tomb and you open it up and there’s nothing there because he was reincarnated?”
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Maybe he could make Metro escalators work
Walking down the hallway of a Federal government building:
Two normal looking mid- late-30s males in business attire are talking.
Guy 1: “I wish Gandalf were here.”
Guy 2: “Just, like, generally?”
Guy 1: “Yeah.”
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This guy seems cool
Last week in a Crystal City apartment building:
40s guy gets on elevator with 5-6 year-old boy.
Boy: “Why does it have 1R? What does the R mean?”
Man: “That stands for Rear. The door opens to the loading dock.”
Boy: “Let’s go into the lobby that way.”
Man: “The garbage room is back there and it’s really stinky.”
Boy: “It’s really stinky if you go in the rear?”
Man, whispers: “Phrasing!”
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I suppose it depends on your allergies
On a Saturday night at Menomale in Brookland back in February:
20s-ish woman to the waiter: “Are the sandwiches, like, life-changing or amazing?”
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Burn
On a Red line train at Union Station:
Doors close then reopen. They close again.
Train Operator comes on the PA: “Next time, wait for the next train. Next stop, NoMa. Red line train to Glenmont.”
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Still feel this way
On the Georgetown campus, Wednesday afternoon:
Two undergrads are trying to find a time to catch up that works with both their schedules.
Student 1: “Look at us, making plans for a week and a half from now. I feel so old.”
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Teaching children to dream big
At Arlington Cemetery during peak cherry blossom tourist weekend:
Middle-aged woman to a boy around 8 or 9 years old, presumably her son or nephew: “When YOU become president there’s a big change I want you to make. I want you to make it so that I can choose which cable channels I pay for so I don’t have to pay for all these ones I don’t want! That’s what I want you to accomplish.”
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It does sound effective
Three young women, likely undergraduates, in the elevator of a GWU building:
Woman 1: “Do you have any classes in this building?”
Woman 2: “Yeah, my stress management class is here.”
Woman 3: “How is that class?”
Woman 2: “It’s like… nothing. We literally do nothing.”
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Self-deprecation or obliviousness?
Millennial in business attire in Thomas Circle after work, talking on cell phone:
“Sorry, I’m a big deal now. I talk to a lot of important people.”
(pause)
“I just call myself sometimes.”
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And finally, Overseen in DC?
On a sign outside a vacuum cleaner store in Cleveland Park: “This sale doesn’t suck, but our products always do!”
