Photo by Neil Cooler
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Overheard of the Week
As you get older, it seems like you get more responsibilities, more things to do, and less fun. But then again, you can make your own rules.
On a sidewalk downtown around 11:40 a.m.:
Two professional men, maybe late 20s or early 30s pass each other.
Man 1: “Early lunch?”
Man 2: “Yeah, I said fuck it, man. I’m an adult.”
After the jump, teens, tourists, and Taco Tuesday.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Until it catches fire
19th and M Streets NW:
Two bros riding hoverboards: “I feel bad for everyone who has to walk.”
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Good dog parenting?
At Wonderland on Taco Tuesday:
Two 20-30 something women are sitting at the patio with a dog.
Two other women walk past with their dogs and stop to greet the first dog.
Owner of the first dog: “He has mouth herpes.”
Owner of the second dog: “Oh” and then pulls her dog away.
First owner: “He just can’t give kisses. I feel that a responsible dog owner should let people know that.”
They leave and the owner of the mouth herpes dog says to her friend: “I was trying to find a nice way to say it. I was going to say ‘mouth warts’, but that doesn’t sound much better.”
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More vitamins?
At the Dignitary (bar in Marriott Marquis) during a happy hour:
Two 30-something women are talking.
Woman 1: “I used to be five foot five and three quarters and now I’m five-five and a quarter.”
Woman 2: “It’s gravity.”
Woman 1: “No, it’s bullshit.”
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Derp
Three spectators on the sidelines of a rugby match:
Man 1: “Hodor. Hodor hodor hodor.”
Man 2: “Hodor? Hodor, hodor hodor hodor hodor.”
Man 1: “Hodor.”
Man 3: “Wait what the hell are you guys talking about? That big guy on Game of Thrones? What’s his name again? Something like ‘the Load’ or maybe ‘the Fridge’?”
Man 1: “Do you mean ‘the Mountain’?!?!?”
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And your weekly “we’re doomed” Overheard
At the new Buttercream Bakeshop:
Three women in line to the server: “What items are the most Instagramable?”
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There’s hope in the younger generation
Biking toward Adams Morgan at 15th and Q Streets after the DC Bike Ride:
A family is standing and chatting.
Mom to toddler son: “Is Trump a good guy or a bad guy?”
Toddler: “Bad guy!”
Everyone at the corner cheers.
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Ya think?
In a convenience store:
Man, to himself in a disgusted tone, while browsing the latest edition of High Times magazine: “Hmph. These study results are NOT scientifically reproducible.”
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Not a history teacher
In the morning, passing by the Lincoln Memorial:
A teacher/chaperone talking to his middle school tour group about Abe: “This is a monument to the president who wrote the Declaration of Independence.”
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Is that another word for bullshit?
Two women walking from the Capitol. One seems to be giving career advice to the other:
“When I first started, I was 80 percent substance and 20 percent strategy. Now I’m 80 percent strategy.”
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TMI
Friday at the Ball or Nothin Food Truck in Franklin Square at lunch time:
Two guys are talking about spicy food.
Guy #1: “I believe it’s not spicy enough unless I can feel it both ways.”
Guy #2: (speechless, then changes the topic completely)
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Quite literally
On a plane to National Airport:
Teenage boy with his face to the window talking to girl in seat next to him: “There’s the Pentagon… it’s a pentagon? It’s literally shaped like a pentagon!”
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The dogs or…?
Just over the D.C. line in Takoma Park:
Two women, perhaps in their 50s, with several small dogs on leash, waiting for the crosswalk signal by Capital City Cheesecake.
Woman 1, anxiously: “Oh, I hope her nipples snap back.”
Woman 2, reassuringly: “They will.”
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