(Photo by Julian Ortiz)
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Sometimes you really just really need to change seats at a restaurant.
Overheard of the Week
Lively Thursday happy hour at a bar/restaurant in Arlington:
The Libertarian Party is having a happy hour on some couches in the bar area and an old man and his wife are sitting next to the them.
Old man to waitress: “Excuse me, can we move to a table?”
Waitress: “Why? Is anything wrong?”
Old man: “It’s loud and I’m surrounded by Libertarians!”
After the jump, tourists, field trips and their chaperones, and heartwarming realizations.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Michelin raters, to be sure
Just north of the SW Safeway on a weekday evening:
Two twenty-somethings are walking down the street
Woman: “I’ve been meaning to try that Japanese-Bolivian fusion place…”
Man: “You mean Graffiato?”
Woman: “Yeah, that’s it!”
Man: “I went there for happy hour last week. Their duck liver sliders were amazing!”
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Go home already
Circulator Bus, between Union Station and Georgetown:
Mid 20s woman: “I’m not a big fan of my sister’s boyfriend.”
Mid 20s man: “Oh really? Why?”
Mid 20s woman: “He has his associates degree, but he doesn’t want to use it because he prefers being a waiter. And to make things even worse, he supports Bernie Sanders.”
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Congress?
Outside Capitol City Brewing Company on H Street NW, Wednesday evening:
30-something-ish man on cell phone: “It was great, there were all these huge bowls of free bananas everywhere!”
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Nothing is this sentence is correct
Walkway at Nationals Park overlooking the Anacostia, 20-something woman talking to 20-something man:
“It’s right on this river, but further up, near the National Cathedral. You know, Georgetown technically isn’t even in D.C. It’s in Virginia.”
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SafeTrack suggestions
At Gallery Place/Chinatown during evening rush:
A 30ish woman and man, likely colleagues, are chatting.
Man (surprisingly excited sounding): “I’m glad we waited and didn’t get on the first train; look at how empty this one is! it’s like a sleeper car!!”
Woman (disgusted): “Yeah, but if this were a sleeper car, the bunks would probably be covered with semen and other bodily fluids.”
Man (still excited): “I don’t disagree, but it would be a really innovative way to commute in D.C.!”
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How weird
In the basement of one of the Senate office buildings:
A group of professionally dressed high school students with model rockets in their hands are followed by a pair of chatty chaperones.
Chaperone 1: “I don’t like this at all.” (gestures towards wall and general surroundings)
Chaperone 2: “The basement?”
Chaperone 1: “Yeah, it’s like you’re constantly underground.”
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Freedom from knowledge
In the parking lot at the Virginia Highlands Park, in Arlington last Friday:
Four bikers, presumably here for Rolling Thunder based on the decor of their motorcycles, are sitting and talking.
One of them: “She was talking about the Capitol. Is that a particular building, or is it the White House?”
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This seems sinister
On the 90 bus, late afternoon on a weekday:
Two students in uniforms in their early teens are talking.
Teen boy: “I haven’t seen your sister in a while.”
Teen girl: “Yeah she had to move far away.”
Boy: “Oh, where did she go?”
Girl: “I can’t tell anyone.”
Boy: “What did she join the Peace Corps or something?”
Girl: (laughing) “Uh NO. She’s not a hippie!”
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Send in Samuel L. Jackson
At Smithsonian Natural History museum gift shop:
A huge group of young teens in matching shirts crowds on the escalator outside the gift shop.
Teen boy holding rubber snake: “We did it! Snakes on the bus! We spent $38 on snakes! Did you get one?”
Teen girl, bored: “No.”
Teen boy: “Ahhhh no! You ruined it!”
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I have made this exact mistake myself
On 14th Street NW between Q and R Streets on Thursday evening:
Three women in their late 50s, obviously tourists, are walking.
Woman #1: “I hope something up here can seat us. Who would’ve thought there’d be a wait this late on a Thursday?”
Woman #2 [pointing across 14th Street]: “Sette Osteria. ‘Osteria’—that means oysters. I don’t want to go there!”
Woman #3 [nodding in agreement, and pointing toward Red Light]: “Oooooh, that place looks cute! Let’s cross the street.”
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Right exactly
Wednesday afternoon, on F Street NW, in front of the Shakespeare Theatre Company:
Woman #1: “Want to go see The Taming of the Shrew with me?”
Woman #2: “Shrew? Like a rat?”
Woman #1: “No, it’s a play based on that old movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Heath Ledger.”
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Who says economics are dull
10 pm Tuesday night in Columbia Heights, three 30-somethings walking down the sidewalk:
“Sooo this super famous economist last night said ‘DTF’ at least 100 times in his presentation and I was seriously hoping someone else would notice, I kept looking around the room.”
