Photo by Rebecca Schley
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
D.C., among many other things, is a political town.
Overheard of the Week
On 14th Street around 6 p.m. on a Thursday:
Woman in her early twenties talking on the phone: “I can’t believe I slept with him. He’s a Trump supporter!!”
(Pause)
“My vagina has the worst political record.”
After the jump, dumb guys, precocious kids, and interns.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include the context!
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I need to buy stock in this stuff
At the Columbia Heights Target:
Two 20-something preppy women ride up the escalator where their friend (also a preppy 20-something woman) is anxiously waiting.
Anxious woman (with exaggerated hand motions): “You guys! The LaCroix is ON SALE! I texted both of you. SOS, this is not a drill.”
Woman 1: “OMG, we NEED to stock up! “
Woman 2: “I’ll get a cart!”
The group aggressively proceeds down the escalator on the hunt for the LaCroix.
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Yes, very fun
College summer interns speaking very loudly on a Yellow Line train to Gallery Place:
Young man: “My fun fact was that I like reggae.”
Young woman: “Mine was that I work for a Democrat.”
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Work is life
On the 43 bus on the way to work:
A mother and two young boys are sitting and talking.
Boy: “Mommy everyone is going to work?”
Mom: “Yes. I have to work in my office too.”
Boy: “Everyone has an office! I have an office and it’s my school!”
Later…
Boy: “School is an office! Our house is an office!”
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Patriotic fail?
Man: “Yeah, but it’s so annoying when they honor the military at like, every game—as if this was supposed to be America’s baseball team or something. What does D.C. even have to do with the military?”
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Was he using a Smith Corona or IBM Selectric?
In Adams Morgan on a Monday evening:
Woman in her mid-20s: “Jesus used a lot of semicolons. Do you ever feel yourself using a semicolon when you speak?”
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Metro problems
Friday before Memorial Day on a Silver line train heading into DC:
Tourist dad with tourist child (about 7) chatting with presumably local woman friend:
Tourist child: “This train is slow!”
Tourist dad: “It’s still faster than driving, honey.” (glancing at friend for support)
Local woman: “Ehhh….” (shrugs shoulders)
Tourist dad to child: “Well, at least it’s faster than walking.” (again looking at friend for support)
Local woman: (sadly shakes head)
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Awkward, much?
Columbia Heights Giant, Monday evening:
It’s quite busy, and two young African American cashiers are discussing how they can’t wait to go on break.
Cashier 1: “Yeah, slavery isn’t a thing anymore. It’s just called Giant now.”
Cashier 2 cracks up laughing.
People in line chuckle nervously. No one replies or provides any further comments.
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It is mostly water
Two women browsing in Potomac Wines & Liquors in Georgetown on a hot, dehydrating kind of an afternoon:
“You can get a water if you want. I’m just gonna have a bottle of wine.”
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At least it’s not a New York comparison
In the DSW at Georgetown Park Mall:
On cell phone: “I’m in Georgetown. It’s like their Newbury Street.”
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The eternal struggle
At the Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro:
Two women are talking to each other.
“Yeah they have a lot of dogs.”
Other woman says something indiscernible.
“I don’t know! He wants kids, but she just wants more dogs!”
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Truth in advertising
Waiting in line for the Best Bus to NYC:
Mom and two kids, around 7 or 8 years old.
Boy: “This is the BEST bus!”
Mom: “Well, to be fair, the only other bus you’ve ridden is the school bus.”
Boy: “And Metrobus. Which is in second place, because they have air conditioning.”
Girl: “Yeah. Our school bus doesn’t even have seat belts.”
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Yes, the famous colonial Ferris wheel
On a flight into DCA:
Two clueless guys looking out of the window as the plane passes by National Harbor.
Clueless Guy #1: “What’s that? It’s like a little city?”
Clueless Guy #2 (with an attitude of authority): “It’s Georgetown.”
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Precocious!
Glover Park at Calvert & Wisconsin NW on Wednesday about 7:00 p.m.:
A man is in the front yard of a rowhouse with two girls (about 5-8 years old).
Girl (speaking very fast): “Daddy!!! Did Michael Jackson die of a heart attack?”
Man: “Whew, uh, no, that’s a tough one. He, um, didn’t take very good care of his body, and was taking too many medicines before he died.”
Passerby (addressing man): “Yikes, good luck with that one!”
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Classic or TGI Friday’s?
A 20-something couple walking down Lamont Street NW near Sherman Avenue:
Man says, “On Saturday night we went really hard! We had daiquiris… (Trailing off)
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She’s With Her
Walking near the Jefferson Memorial:
Girl: “…she would be our first girl president, right, Mommy?”
Mom: “Yup, she would.”
Girl: “Why have all our presidents been men??”
Mom: “I don’t know, it’s RIDICULOUS.”
