Photo by David D’Agostino
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, so check out the archives here.
They’re here, they’re annoying as ever. Let’s hope in this case the Lord does not respond.
Overheard of the Week
Sunday around lunch time at the Tenleytown McDonald’s:
A large tourist family prays very loudly before they start eating.
Mom: “Thank you GOD that we do NOT live in D.C., but please help us find parking today.”
After the jump, office bros, Jazz in the Garden bros, and non-bros.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Well, it’s legal now
Downtown office elevator with women coming back from lunch:
Woman 1: “Can you believe it? That guy on the sidewalk just asked us for money for weed!”
Woman 2: “That’s bold.”
Woman 3: “Wait, I thought he asked for money for something to EAT.”
Woman 1: “Oh … that makes more sense.”
Woman 2: “Plus, you know, weed makes you hungry.”
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Yeah weird why would that be
At Jazz in the Garden:
20-something guy: “I’m so mad people call me a cat killer just because I killed a cat ONE time.”
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Basically the same thing
At a bar in Cleveland Park:
Patron to bartender: “So … did he flee creditors in D.C.?”
Bartender: “Quite possibly. He let me know he is no longer welcome at Pep Boys.”
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Not wearing one?
At the Kennedy Center before a Millennium Stage performance:
A guy in shorts and a t-shirt to his equally-attired friend: “… and that is one of many benefits of owning a tuxedo.”
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She makes a valid point
On the Hank’s Oyster Bar patio during brunch:
20-something woman 1: “She’s had a rough few months since having her baby. Total PTSD situation. “
20-something woman 2: “I think you actually mean PPD.” (Postpartum depression.)
20-something woman 1: “No, 100 percent PTSD. Could you imagine how traumatic it would be having a baby come out down there? Stressful.”
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Teaching moment!
At F and 12th NW on a Sunday:
A group of tourists is walking towards the White House. One male tourist sees an office building displaying American flag and D.C. flag.
Tourist: “Ok, I know what the American flag is. But what is that weird white and red one with stars?”
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Union Market is the new cool place—to meet your ex?
In the Union Market parking lot:
A man meets up with a woman. There seems to be some tension. She hands him some stuff.
Guy: “I hate you and all your personal space.”
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So many possibilities
Outside Mad Fox Tap Room in Glover Park:
Middle aged gentleman talking into loudly into cell phone: “… but if you call the police you will definitely get arrested!”
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It me
At the Night Nation Run at RFK Stadium:
While running a 5k, within the first mile of the run, a group of late 20s/early 30s people are walking. The group is cheering people on: “YOU CAN DO IT! DON’T BE LIKE US! RUN!”
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#millenials
Inside the Ballpark/Navy Yard Metro during a Nationals game:
A group of early 20-somethings walks off the train.
Millennial 1: “I hope the ballpark is nearby.”
Millennial 2: “Look, it says ballpark on the sign. It’s here.”
Millennial 3: “I have so many Snapchats on my phone from last night of peeing in the Metro!”
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Feel like this may be the cat killer from above
Standing in line for the restroom at Jazz in the Garden:
Man in his early 30’s loudly to no one in particular, “WE ARE MEN! WE AREN’T SUPPOSED TO WAIT IN LINE!”
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Let’s hope this is a friendly troll rather than serious advice
On the Green Line on the way to the Nats game:
Two Americans taking a friend from outside the country to a Nats baseball game.
Foreign Friend: “I’ve never been to a baseball game before, what do I do, or say?”
American Guy: “When you see them hit the ball, yell TOUCHDOWN!”
Other people on Metro shake their heads.
