Photo by Mike Maguire
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
D.C. is good at issuing parking tickets. In fact, it’s almost funky.
Overheard of the Week
On 18th Street NW:
A parking attendant is writing a flurry of tickets for cars illegally parked, while singing Bruno Mars to no one in particular: “Don’t believe me just watch, don’t believe me just watch…”
After the jump, bros, tourists, and native wildlife.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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The majestic spawning grounds in the Rappahannock
At Bethesda Bagels in Dupont during the Sunday 11 a.m. rush, waiting for lox and bagel orders:
Woman 1: “Did you know that ‘Nova’ means ‘salmon’?'”
Woman 2: “Really? I always just thought it meant the fish came from Northern Virginia.”
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Cheese party!!!
At a happy hour:
Woman: “My boyfriend had a dairy allergy. But he’s out of town for two weeks, so my goal is to shamelessly eat ALL the cheese.”
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More of a sticky icky icky fan myself
Late Monday morning in the Columbia Heights Metro station:
Metro worker in reflective vest, shouting to no one in particular: “Man!!! They go from weed to K2? Do you smell that horrible smell? Ugggghh!!!”
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Good ol’ underground track bus
Metro Center platform among gaggles of tourists:
A father to his son, who’s dashing to a stopped Metro car: “Hey, Buck, don’t get on the bus without us.”
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Metro has a credibility problem
Gallery Place/Chinatown Metro Station, evening rush:
People are crowded on the platform waiting for Green/Yellow Line trains. There is some issue and trains are delayed. A train pulls in that is marked “No Passengers” and then suddenly changes to a yellow line train to Huntington. Lots of scrambling and pushing to get on the suddenly available train. Two African-American women are chatting.
Woman 1: “Why did that turn into a Yellow Line train?”
Woman 2: “Why do you think?”
Woman 1, in a quiet voice: “White people.”
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In an office setting in downtown D.C.:
Clueless man: “It’s National Seersucker Day.”
Worker: “Ok.”
Clueless man: “What about Trump?”
Worker: “What?”
Clueless man: “Trump? Has he ever made a seersucker suit?
Worker: “What?
Clueless man: “Seersucker, the fabric.”
Worker: “What about it?
Clueless man: “It’s National Seersucker Day. Has Trump ever made a seersucker suit?
Worker: “Why?”
Clueless man: “It’s National Seersucker Day.”
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I mean, it probably is nowadays
In Chinatown, near RFD:
A tourist family is walking three abreast on the sidewalk.
Young tourist boy, earnestly: “Is this what China looks like?”
Tourist parents: “Well… kind of… I guess.”
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True story
T-shirt spotted in Alexandria: “It’s not drinking alone if the cat is home.”
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Ah sick!
At a happy hour party on K Street:
A bro-y 20-something guy is chatting up a blond 20-something woman.
Bro: “I have two main passions in life: Whiskey and working out.”
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D.C. weather report
On NBC4 Wednesday morning following the thunderstorm Tuesday night:
An anchor is reporting next to a tree near the Ellipse that fell during the storm: “We don’t know if it is a federal tree or a local tree, but we do know this tree is definitely down.”
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Everyone’s a critic
Afternoon of Monday, June 13 in the visionary art rooms of the Smithsonian’s Gallery of American Art: “It’s kind of like the children’s section.”
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Like totally
On a Largo-bound Blue Line Train, at Arlington Cemetery Station during evening rush hour:
Four girls, approximately 16 or 17 years old, are sitting on the train.
Girl 1: “I’ve never been to this stop, but I always hear about stuff happening here on the news. Is it like an actual cemetery?”
Girl 2: “Yeah, I think it’s like super famous.”
