Photo by LaTur
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Mentorship is a big thing in D.C.—learning from your elders and such. For example:
Overheard of the Week
Outside of the Melrose Hotel in the West End:
Older guy and younger guy finishing a drink outside the hotel.
Younger guy, standing up: “Well, thank you for the advice, and for the drink.”
Older guy: “No problem. I have no idea who the fuck you are and I’m never going to see you again. Send me a check.”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Burn
At a table at the Army Navy Club bar:
Three 40-something-year-old gentlemen are discussing a colleague’s accomplishments and potential contributions to society:
Senior man in reply to the accolades: “It’s like saying he’s the best ballet dancer in Galveston.”
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Hmm
The scene: 6:30 p.m. at Flywheel City Center:
Two bros were exiting a class and heatedly discussing the DNC.
Bro 1: “Ugh, my mom just sent me a picture of herself with Hillary Clinton. Fuck Hillary”
Bro 2: “Yeah man, Fuck Hillary.”
Bro 1: “I mean … I’m voting for her …”
Bro 2: “Why not vote for Putin?”
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Tough life
In Cleveland Park:
30-something guy 1: “Man, I made oatmeal cause I was hungry this morning, but it was too hot to eat.”
30-something guy 2: “Yeah, this isn’t oatmeal weather.”
(A minute later.)
Guy 2: “This is the worst day of the year to eat oatmeal. Bad choice.”
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Who says kids aren’t helpful
Monday morning, Red line to shady grove approaching Judiciary Square:
Tourist mother is reading the newspaper to her four-year-old son.
Son, to mom: “Don’t get psoriasis!”
Mom: “Yes.” (Not paying attention)
Son, to mom: “Don’t get psoriasis, mommy!”
Mom: “Yes, that’s right, don’t get psoriasis!”
(Brief pause)
Mom, wonders out loud: “Wait, how do you not get psoriasis?”
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If this happened every time, Metro would be staffed by Canadians
On the Red Line at New York Ave:
Train driver, apologizing for a delay “… We’ll be moving soon and, once again, we apologize for your patience.”
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Professional goths?
Wednesday at Ft. Totten Station heading into downtown around 8am:
A teenage couple gets on the metro.
Girl: “Before you get into work today, you might want to wipe the blood off your face.”
*tries to wipe boyfriend’s cheek, doesn’t get all of it*
Girl: “It’s still pretty.”
——
Has this kid been reading DCist?
Atlantic plumbing theater Sunday at Life of Pets showing:
Four-year-old boy to his mom: “You’re not lonely, you have three cats!”
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Duck!
Group of 30-somethings are talking on Friday night at a Capitol Hill bar patio:
Woman: “Rebound sex is everywhere. Literally EV-RE-WHERE ??” (hand motion included)
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Funny how planes work
On the Metro:
“You don’t want to go to Australia. It’s a 20-hour plane ride, and then when you get there, it’s just Australia.”
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???
Waiting in front of El Centro on 14th, next to Pacers:
20-something Bro 1: “Dude I dare you to smell that shoe store.”
Bro 2 [after actually opening door of Pacers and taking a whiff]: “Smells like shrimp scampi.”
