Photo by Brian Allen
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
The corpse flower brought out the crowds to the U.S. Botanic Garden recently, and also inspired some citizen scientists.
Overheard of the Week
Thursday, Aug. 4 around 9 a.m. riding escalator at Union Station:
Late 30s to early 40s guy is talking to coworker about the corpse flower: “Peak stank was around Tuesday afternoon.”
After the jump, interns, cool ladies, and how not to describe your job.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
——
Oh, Crossfit
Monday evening while walking past District CrossFit in SW:
A woman’s voice is heard drifting out: “Every time you pick up an empty weight bar, a puppy dies and goes to heaven.”
——
Interns are the worst
At an NGO in D.C.:
Intern: “But real talk guys, Inspector Gadget used to be my favorite movie.”
——
This is a pretty great idea
Sunday at Brookland’s Finest Bar & Kitchen around 1:30 p.m.:
Two men and one woman, probably in their early 20s, are sitting at one of the tables waiting for their food. The guys are intently typing on their phones with both hands.
Woman: “I have an idea, let’s all put our phones in the middle of the table, and the first person to touch their phone has to pay the bill!”
Neither of the guys moves an inch.
——
Perhaps not the best description
At the Woolly Mammoth on D Street watching the Upright Citizen’s Brigade improv troupe:
The actors started asking for audience participation.
Actor: “Where do you work?”
Audience member: “An international development firm.”
Actor: “What does that mean? What are you developing internationally?”
Audience member: “Oh… we contract for USAID. We’re like Booz Allen but for poor people.”
Audience boos him.
——
A rare entertaining loud train person
On the Green line:
Older man to no one in particular: “Mrs. Hillary Clinton, I love you. Go back on into the White House.”
He breaks out into a chant: “Go Hillary, Go Hillary… it’s your day. She ain’t got three or four wives or none of that. What a woman. Dump. Trump. Russia. Me and Putin tight? How tight? Drop a bomb. Tell on that. You got how much money? Well then, why won’t you show yo tax returns? Cause you ain’t got no money. Go Hillary!”
——
Sounds fun!
Lunchtime in Georgetown on the sidewalk:
Teenage tourist girl to her friends: “She was like ‘do you want to go waterboarding?’ and I was like, ‘uhhhh, that’s an interrogation method.’”
——
iDealbreaker
At the Wonderland patio on Friday night:
20- or 30-something woman: “If I’m talking to a guy on an app or something and he texts me and it’s a green bubble, that’s not a good sign.”
——
Says you, commie
40-something man talking to his wife as they pass the National Archives: “Wearing a Captain America shirt does not make you patriotic”
——
I dunno, sounds pretty awesome to me
At the Burke, VA Target:
Two middle-aged female employees talking to each other: “And he can’t eat solid food, so I don’t know why he thought cheese fries would be okay.”
——
Yikes? Or Pokemon?
A pediatrician’s office on K Street:
Two year old boy: “Monsters mommy.”
Mom: “Monsters?”
Boy: “Lots of monsters.”
Mom: “Where?”
Boy: “Everywhere.”
——
Burn
On a particularly crowded Red line train stopped at Metro Center heading to NoMa:
Mom: “Hurry, we have to squeeze on.”
Mom and 8-year-old boy makes it on the train right as the doors close.
Boy: “Wait!! Did dad get on???”
Mom: “We don’t care…”
Entire train bursts out laughing.
——
The teens are getting fancy
Teens walking to Gallery Place Metro:
Boy: “Sushi is so popular, when did that happen? Everyone is talking about it.”
Girl: “I don’t like cooked salmon but I LOVE it raw.”
Boy: “Are you even allowed to eat it that way?”
——
This lady seems pretty awesome
On the 90 bus at 3 p.m. headed towards Eastern Market:
Two older women are having a conversation.
Woman 1: “I didn’t know you went to prison.”
Woman 2: “Yes, girl. I did time for wire fraud. I was like the black Martha Stewart.”
——
You don’t say
Two tourists walking down 17th Street:
Man points towards Pennsylvania Avenue in front of the White House and authoritatively explains to his wife: “Now this used to be a street.”
