Photo by Kevin Wolf
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
House of Cards is a beloved show, and it seems like that’s especially true in D.C., despite inaccuracies like fake subway stops. See you in Cathedral Heights. Mostly (hopefully) it’s a work of fiction, but there’s probably a seedy underbelly of politics we just don’t hear about.
Overheard of the Week
On Circulator bus towards Union Station:
50s-60s man talking loudly into cell phone: “How long have you been in the District?”
(pause)
“Is that legal where you are?”
(pause)
“Well, then I think you need to call the police, Senator.”
He hangs up on caller and exits bus.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
After the jump, kids, bros, and salad.
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It’s the thought that counts
Two women walking down 19th Street:
“And I got Sean and Melissa this really cute stuffed pink thing… I really don’t know what it is…”
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Important distinction
Outside D.C. Courthouse:
Proselytizer: “I didn’t say deez nuts, I said JESUS!”
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He’s not wrong
Walking on H Street NE:
Guy in his 20s tell his friends: “There is nothing cooler than a Joe Biden party.”
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Ugh
On the Wonderland patio on Friday night:
Some twenty somethings with New York accents have been talking about living in Virginia.
Guy: “This is like the farthest I’ve ever been in D.C.”
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There’s, uh, Stinky and… Jeff?
Giant in Columbia Heights:
“I don’t even know what I am saying right now. I thought I could remember all the Pokemon names, but I can’t.”
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Clearly
Rush hour near Metro Center:
Man standing in the middle of 11th Street as cars whiz by, screaming: “I want Trump to be the goddamn president! I don’t give a F*CK what none of y’all think.”
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Not doing any favors for people’s opinions of the government
Two late 20s bros in suits at a networking at a conference for feds:
Bro one: “I’m getting a lot of management tips out of this conference.”
Bro two: “Me too. My new management goal is to make someone cry. I can’t wait.”
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Life gets serious, fast
Thursday morning on East Capitol Street in Capitol Hill:
Mom to her toddler who is wearing cool shades and riding his tricycle—he really wants to cross East Capitol Street against the red light.
Completely deadpan: “I’m not trying to cramp your style, I’m trying to save your life.”
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Or are YOU not the real D.C., ma’am?
At 3rd & Tingey Streets SE (close to Blue Jacket) after a Saturday afternoon Nats game:
Early 50’s woman with male presumably spouse (both in Nats fan clothing) and an out-of-town couple of similar age group.
Woman in response to an unheard question: “No…WE live in D.C. This is more like ‘rivers’ edge’ and not the real D.C.”
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Hold the salad
In line at Chop’t on 16th and K Streets downtown, in the middle of the lunch rush:
Middle-aged tourist woman: “I’ll have the Classic Cobb salad, but no lettuce.”
Salad-maker: “Umm… You want no lettuce at all?”
Woman: “No, I really don’t like that lettuce stuff.”
Salad-maker: [Hands her a half-full bowl of bacon, eggs and cheese]
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Clearly
9 a.m. Wednesday in front of the White House:
Two males in their 20s dressed up and presumably walking to work.
Guy 1: “Dude, I’m way smarter than him…”
Guy 2: Nods in approval.
Guy 1: “I’m way smarter than everyone in that building.”
