Photo by nevermindtheend
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
D.C. has been growing and changing a lot lately, and that means the way people see the city has changed too. For example:
Overheard of the Week
At Chinatown Coffee:
Some baristas are chatting.
Barista 1: “That’s probably the most D.C. thing I’ve ever heard.”
Barista 2: “What is?”
Barista 1: “Pop-up brunch!”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
After the jump, tourists, bros, funny people and hot, hot weather.
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The things we learn at D.C. monuments
Tuesday around 9 p.m. walking into the FDR Memorial from the south:
A bro in his late 20s, talking to the girl next to him: “That’s when I figured out you can stick 64 marbles in your butt.”
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So Bethesda
On the street in Bethesda:
Jogger on phone: “You know how Chad is with his Dom Perignon!” (laughs)
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“Fine” would have worked too
Two mid 20s bros on the corner of 18th and Columbia NW by McDonald’s on Wednesday evening:
Bro 1: “How is Jessica doing?”
Bro 2: “She’s actually getting her vagina waxed right now.”
Bro 1: (uncomfortable chuckle) “Well that’s… interesting.”
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Sometimes you have to amuse yourself on a walk
In NoMa at 7:30 a.m:
Man, to his dog: “Are you excited to go to work?”
(Dog doesn’t react.)
Man: “Of course you are not. You don’t have a job, you are a beagle!” (Chuckles to himself.)
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Architecture is truly amazing these days
At Parc Meridian in Alexandria, a new high-rise apartment building:
One of the lobby elevator’s digital notification reads “G3”.
Paisanos’s delivery driver: “Damn. That’s awesome.”
Front desk attendant: “What’s that?”
Driver: “I’ve never been to a building with 63 floors before.”
Attendant: “What are you talking about?”
Driver: “Look…” (Pointing to the digital letters)
Attendant: “That says ‘G3’ for the parking garage.”
Driver: “So the 63 floors go underground….. Got it!”
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Hmmm…
Sunday afternoon at Tara Vineyard:
30ish women are waiting in line for unisex bathroom. A 60ish woman comes up and gets in line as well.
Older woman: “Is this one of those transgender bathrooms?”
Younger woman: “Yes, you have to be transgender to use it.”
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Warmer…
On a packed Green Line train on the way to a Nats game:
A dad in his 50s is explaining the Metro system to his son (maybe 14).
Dad: “We are on the Green Line. We are going to Navy Yard. That is right before the train passes the river into Delaware.”
Son hums in agreement.
Dad then corrects himself: “No, I think it passes into Virginia.”
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Culture clash
In an elevator in downtown:
Two women in their late 30s or early 40s are chatting. Woman 1 was discussing her toddler.
Woman 1: “She doesn’t want to leave my side. When I go to get the mail, she stands at the door crying for me.”
Woman 2: “Go to get the mail? Where do you have to go?”
Woman 1: “Um, to the mailbox… at the end of the driveway.”
Woman 2: “You have to go outside to get your mail?”
Woman 1: “Uh, yeah. Where do you get your mail?”
Woman 2: “They just shove it in my door slot. Wow, you must really live far in the suburbs.”
Woman 1, sarcastically: “Yeah, Arlington is in the sticks.”
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Got it
Walking down 9th street at the Portrait Gallery:
A 30-something woman is talking to a 50-something man who is about 15 feet behind her, off to the side.
Woman, sounding frustrated: “Walk with me, but don’t walk with me. Get it?”
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I mean, weather-wise, yeah…
In an elevator downtown:
Tourist daughter: “It’s hot as hell here, mom!”
Tourist mother: “This is Washington, D.C., dear. This IS hell!”
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Self-doubt
At the food trucks near Metro Center:
A young professional is placing his order.
To the server in food truck: “I’ll have number 13 to go please.”
To no one in particular: “Of course it’s to go… this is a food truck.”
