(Photo by Brett Carlsen/Getty Images, illustration by Rachel Kurzius)

Ryan Lochte, Rick Perry, Vanilla Ice. The new Dancing With The Stars line-up sounds like a bizarre fever dream I had last week.

But there’s one thing connecting many of the contestants, particularly the Olympic swimming, international incident-starting among them: a desire to rehabilitate their image. Lochte said as much to USA Today. “Hopefully when I’m on it, people will watch and enjoy the show and talk about the show,” he said. “Hopefully, it changes everyone’s mindset and just focuses on something different.”

The show has no problem serving as a stop on his new goodwill tour. “Hopefully, this opportunity will be something that shows Ryan in a good light,” executive producer Rob Wade told the paper. Which got us thinking … which D.C.-famous folks could use a little makeover magic?

So, without further adieu, here is our list of suggestions for the next season:

Vincent Orange

Things weren’t looking great for the long-serving councilmember when challenger Robert White booted him out of his at-large seat during the June primary. But Orange turned lemons into lemon face when he announced his next gig—head of the D.C. Chamber of Commerce—which he intended to begin while serving out the rest of his council term, including his position as the chair of the Committee on Business, Consumer and Regulatory Affairs. Intense criticism about conflicts of interest followed, and he resigned about two weeks later to the tune of Pharrell William’s “Happy.” But after he caused such a stir, which of his former colleagues will actually want him lobbying their office? All of that would change if “Dancing With the Stars Champion” was part of his email signature. Plus, we know he has the showmanship to slay the competition.

Dan Snyder

What hasn’t this guy done? He’s using a racial slur as the area football team’s mascot, which he said he will “NEVER” change. His team’s legal strategy in an ongoing fight over the name is a profanity-laden brief. He tried to sue Washington City Paper out of existence for a story that detailed many of his worst behaviors toward the fans. He killed a radio show when he found out it was hosted by one of his most vocal critics. But who knows? Maybe if he does the cha-cha really well (or the team he owns makes it past the first round of the playoffs), we’ll forget all that.

Kwame Onwuachi

This Top Chef star has one of the most anticipated restaurant openings this fall with Shaw Bijou. Onwuachi’s first restaurant requires a $185 ticket, not including tax or drinks, a price tag that “leaves a sour taste” for Washington City Paper. Reporting from Washingtonian today finds that Shaw Bijou has a binding reservation policy, with no refunds or exchanges. If Onwuachi hits it out of the park, he’ll have no need to lace up his dancing shoes. But given all the hype, if he disappoints he might want to return to reality TV.

Paul Wiedefeld

The general manager of Metro started off strong by making tough decisions like shutting down the rail system for a day, implementing SafeTrack, and “restructuring” management. But with a derailment, sexual harassment suit, and continuing issues with red signal overruns, Wiedefeld might need to show off his one-two step to get people proudly wearing their “In Paul We Trust” t-shirts once again.

Bonus Round

Vincent Gray: After walloping incumbent Ward 7 councilmember and former protege Yvette Alexander in the primary and seeing accuser Jeff Thompson carted off to prison, former Mayor Gray may not need much image rehab these days. But if he did, this is your regular reminder that the dude has some serious moves.