Photo by Erin M
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Sometimes kids can be a real pill. Other times they can be pretty awesome.
Overheard of the Week
On the 16th Street bus:
Man talking to little girl, who is sitting on her father’s lap: “You’d have to have a lot of money to buy that car. You’d have to be Donald Trump.”
Little girl, defiantly: “I’m not Donald Trump!”
After the jump, tourists, jerks, more kids and hipster bros.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Yeesh
On H Street by Union Station on Monday evening at 6:30 p.m.:
Young woman on the phone: “I’m such a bitch, every time we fight I bring up the fact that he doesn’t have a family and I’m like, ‘Well, at least I have a family.'”
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Fancy kid? Annoying parents?
On the 16th Street Heights playground:
Mother: “Sebastian, come over here. Sebastian, come have something to eat. Sebastian.”
Kid: “Are these gluten…”
Mother: “Yes, they’re gluten-free, Sebastian.”
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Touche?
At Vegfest at Navy Yard:
While waiting in line for free samples of vegan cheese, a talkative woman says to her friends, “Have you had the pork belly from Trader Joe’s? It is so good”.
Her friends, awkwardly and quietly: “No, we’re vegetarian.”
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Government efficiency?
Federal Government building hallway:
Three early 20-somethings (one woman and two men) after leaving a full elevator, which included three women with boxes who were obviously moving.
Woman to friends: “I don’t understand why people use the elevator to move. I get that it’s more convenient if you have boxes but it takes up a lot of usable space.”
Male colleague (sarcastically): “Yeah, we should really make people carry their boxes down the stairs.”
Woman (not detecting sarcasm): “It probably would be hard, but then people could have more space.”
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Hat tip
At Crunch Metro Fitness in late September:
Young woman 1: “And then he was like, ‘what are you doing tonight?’ And I said ‘uhh the debate?’ He didn’t know there was one tonight!”
Young woman 2: “Please tell me you won’t see him again.”
Young woman 1: “Well of course. I called it off.”
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That would be a good name for a studio
Two men walking past Yoga Heights on Georgia Avenue around 7:30 a.m. on Tuesday as a class is just ending:
“I would love doing shit like that. Getting up in the morning and doing that yoga shit with your girlfriend.”
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The joys of children
Banana Republic fitting rooms at Pentagon City:
Two young kids are waiting for their mother.
Girl: “La la laa.”
Boy to sister: “It would be really nice if you stopped singing.”
Girl: “LA LA LAAAA!”
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Yes, exactly
Outside a Baptist church in NE Capitol Hill on Sunday afternoon:
Gentleman in suit leaving church says to apparent tourist: “You sound like a worldly lady. Where are you from?”
Worldly lady says something inaudible.
Gentleman in suit: “Aaah, Down Under! The only thing I know about Australia is that a DANGO ate my baby!”
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Ok then
Sunday afternoon at a bar in Van Ness:
Two hipster bros are drinking bourbon. One says “The bartender sees me for what I really am: someone who loves musical theater and bourbon.”
A few minutes later, his friend: “I’m not the kind of guy who’s gonna spend all my money going to Crete or shit. That kind of international travel is classist elitist.”
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Welcome to D.C.
At the top of a broken Woodley Park escalator down to station:
A father and his five year old son are holding hands, and the son sees the escalator isn’t working and violently wrenches himself away, almost running into the person behind them
Son, sounding terrified: “Dad, NOOOO!”
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Yes, it is
Morning on the L1 heading towards Potomac Park:
Two professional women, probably late twenties or early thirties, having a causal conversation on the bus.
Woman 1: “My sister’s dog was blessed this weekend.”
Woman 2: “What?”
Woman 1: “Yeah, my grandmother called her and said the priest was blessing dogs at the church so she came by and got them. Now the dog is blessed.”
Woman 2: “That’s such a grandmother thing to say.”
