Photo by Geoff Livingston
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
If it’s not one thing, it’s another—closing before the end of the baseball game, single tracking everywhere, plans to close down where people need it the most, let alone the regular day-to-day issues.
Northbound Green line train, 5:15-ish on Thursday:
Train Operator: “Uhh, they got a train having a problem up at College Park on the opposite side. They’re telling me to hold here. I’ve got a feeling it’s gonna be a while for them to set up single tracking. Ugh, it’s gonna be a mess.”
Later, with a heavy sigh: “Nice. Pretty train messed up the whole railroad.”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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The stereotypes of Portland are true
At the Del Ray Art Festival:
A 30-something woman talking to a couple (presumably locals).
Local man: “Where were you living before? Oregon?”
30-something woman: “Yeah, but I’m going to stay in D.C. for a few years to get some life experience.”
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Needed this after last night’s game.
During the Nationals playoff game on Sunday at around 4 p.m. at The Brig beer garden in SE DC:
A thirty-something bro orders a beer.
Bro: “Hey man, can I get the oktoberfest?”
The bartender: “Sure, which one?”
Bro: “Whichever has the highest ABV.”
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They seem perfect together?
On a Red line train during rush hour Thursday:
A young, very cute, late 20’s couple is scrolling through their selfies.
Boyfriend: “WOW your forehead looks so sweaty in that one.”
Girlfriend: “That’s cause my botox wore off!”
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Uber: civics lessons for all
In an Uber pool driving from 14th Street to West End, Sunday morning:
Young woman, still drunk from the night before: “I’m thinking of changing my voter registration to D.C. since Missouri is so red… I just want my vote to count, ya know?”
Another woman who doesn’t know the first: “You know D.C. isn’t a state, right?”
Young woman: no response.
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New business model
On 18th St NW in Adams Morgan around 7:30 p.m. on a Saturday night:
A 30-something man outside a storefront: “Hey guys, buy a t-shirt tonight, get a free bag of weed!”
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This is pretty accurate
At the Nats playoff game a few days ago:
A couple in their late 60’s is commenting on the mascot dancing on screen at the Nats game Friday night.
Husband: “What’s the Nae Nae?”
Wife (very authoritatively): “It’s like what the Macarena used to be.”
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You lost me
Saturday at the Columbia Heights Marshalls:
Two men in their late 20s or early 30s are talking.
Man 1: “I don’t know. Halloween is sacred for me. You just shouldn’t make fun of some things.”
Man 2: “You don’t get it. They make fun of everything! The Holocaust. Buddhism. Everything!”
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Zen touristing
Standing in line for a tour at Mt. Vernon:
Tourist family, to another couple in line: “We were looking for a parking spot downtown, but then one highway led to another, and we went through some kind of rough areas, so we kept going onto another highway, and we ended up here, and thought it looked nice, so here were are!”
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Oregon?
On a side street in Glover Park:
Middle-aged man walking and talking on a cell phone: “Yeah, that’s why I really like the girl at Whole Foods. She is from another planet.”
Pause.
“And I’m sure people don’t know they are from another planet until they find out.”
