Photo by Jen C.
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Some jokes just don’t make much sense outside of our fair city.
Overheard of the Week
In Foggy Bottom:
Three twenty-somethings, two women and a man, are walking.
Woman: “I had my C-SPAN debut!”
Man: “And unlike most people’s, you didn’t have to raise your right hand for a deposition!”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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The good old days
In the elevator of a Metro Center building:
One middle-aged man to another: “I remember the days when I would drive down L Street to the office at 6 a.m. and I would see the prostitutes finishing up their evenings.”
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Very old? Silk robes?
On 14th Street:
Man in his late thirties enthusiastically talking on his cellphone: “He is really the Hugh Hefner of Connecticut Avenue…”
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Do what now
Thursday at 5 p.m. on a Blue Line train:
Teen girl to a man: “I hope Kanye West, well, doesn’t die, but maybe gets a handler that kinda squashes him. Also, can I get eyelash transplants?”
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I wonder why that is
Thursday morning near Farragut West (intersection of 17th & H Street):
Two early 30s guys are walking and talking: “Never has it been so toxic to tell people you live in D.C.”
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Stranger things have happened
On 14th Street near the Columbia Heights Metro station:
30-something man walking down the street, to his companion: “She was at home pregnant with the dog. I mean, not pregnant with the dog, but…”
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Ugh, kids these days!
On the Red Line:
Two young college students are talking about their post-graduation plans:
Guy 1: “I want to work for the Supreme Court. Not as a Supreme Court Justice.. oh my God, that possibility is way too scary; more than being President. I just want to work for a Justice.”
Guy 2: Nods head.
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Damn, I wanna work with this guy
In a Federal office building:
Building management has been trying for a week to get an employee to take down his strand of Christmas lights.
Employee: “They can’t fire me for boozing it up and throwing things through windows, but they want me to take my damn Christmas lights down.”
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Well, let’s hope
At Big Chief in Ivy City:
A group of bar patrons are talking politics: “One little fascist gets elected president and everybody wants to be a revolutionary!”
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Hey, it was in the Craigslist ad
In an office building elevator:
Woman to male coworker: “My roommates bought a spray tan machine so they can do it every Thursday. So they can SPRAY TAN EACH OTHER EVERY Thursday.”
Male coworker to woman: “Did you choose to live with these roommates?”
Woman quietly mumbles in agreement.
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Have a feeling this won’t ever change, no matter who is in office
In the cafeteria of a government building:
Two employees who apparently used to work together have run into each other.
Employee 1: “How’s [office]?”
Employee 2: “Well, we’ve just re-orged the re-org of the re-org. So, you know…”
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