Photo by Andrew Pasko-Reader
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
Now that Trump has won, most of the city isn’t happy about it. Even the government, maybe?
Overheard of the Week
At the National Christmas tree Saturday evening:
A married couple is talking about why the flags are half-staff (for John Glenn)
Man: “They’re half-staff because Trump won the election!”
After the jump, kids, fancy food, cheese and more.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Oui
In a lunch spot on L Street:
A mid-twenties man and woman are eating together.
Man: “What’s that other French restaurant you like?”
Woman: “Uhhhh… I don’t remember. Oh, Au Bon Pain.”
——
Appreciate the honesty
At a restaurant in Laurel:
Customer: “Can I get the fish tacos?”
Waitress: “No.”
Customer: “Why?”
Waitress (with a completely straight face): “Because they’re nasty.”
——
The prizes have really gone downhill
Coming out of the &pizza in Penn Quarter:
A group of young professional start-up types are exiting in a gaggle.
Guy to group: “Yeah! Standing desks for everyone. I feel like the Oprah of standing desks. You get a standing desk! And you get a standing desk! EVERYBODY GETS A STANDING DESK!”
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Oh yeah, super sweet
On 14th Street near Le Diplomate on Wednesday evening:
An early 20s man and woman are walking.
Man: “Yeah, that’s why Connecticut is dope as shit: I can be in Massachusetts in 45 minutes. That’s why I’m moving there after graduation.”
——
Agreed
Monday morning at the National Arboretum:
“My dad sent a family text that said ‘good news, cheese gone.’ I don’t get it. Cheese being gone is never good.”
——
Yay, parenting!
At the Kensington Park library:
A jovial boy, about 10, is playing a game on a computer in the children’s area when his dad approaches.
Dad: “We came here to get books, not to play on the computer.”
Boy (completely absorbed): “This game is like the best thing to happen to life.”
(A minute later)
Dad (in an outdoor voice): “We came here to look at books.”
Boy: “No we didn’t.”
Other Patron (under her breath): “Apparently you didn’t come here to look at books quietly.”
(Another minute later)
Dad (sternly): “We’re going now!”
Boy (unphased): “No we’re not.”
Dad continues to stand around for a few minutes until the boy finishes his game and they wordlessly leave.
——
Seems like a keeper
At Denizens a few months ago:
Three women in their early 20s were discussing their dating life:
Woman 1: “He’s a big Harry Potter fan, but I kept asking him if he’s positive he’s a Slytherin and how he’s sure.”
Women 2 and 3 nod in agreement.
(a few minutes later, talking about the same guy)
Woman 1: “So he won’t eat any foods with his hands, he even eats pizza with chopsticks! And he’s afraid of bananas, like, it’s a legit phobia and he can’t have them anywhere near him.”
——
D.C. romance?
Early afternoon at brunch Saturday at Irish Whiskey:
Four drunk early 20-something women are talking.
Woman 1: “I definitely shouldn’t have dated him for so long, I mean I had to keep a vibrator by my bed for after he fell asleep cause he had no idea what he was doing but like he had a ton of State Department connections.”
The rest nod and mumble in agreement.
——
Amusing or depressing?
In the afternoon on the platform at the L’Enfant Plaza Metro:
Two kids, maybe 10 years old, are fighting over a toy.
Boy: “Give it back! Or I’ll call my lawyer!”
Girl: “Who cares? I’ve got lawyers, too. I’ve got real good lawyers. My lawyers have lawyers!”
