Photo by Mike Silva
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
The holidays are here, and rather than think about the bad stuff, let’s focus on something good: cute holiday kids.
Overheard of the Week
At a fourth grade “gingerbread party”:
Kid: “My girlfriend is candy.”
Later, other kids:
Kid 1: “Would you rather put a bag of M&Ms in a bathtub and swim in it, or eat it all?”
Kid 2: “This is how my stomach is feeling: eat eat eat more more more. Oh man, I am starting to get hyper now.”
Kid 1: “If you eat all those M&Ms you are going to throw up a rainbow of vomit, so don’t eat the M&Ms.”
Kid 2: “This is the best day of my life, this is the best day of my life! Ugh, my stomach hurts.”
Later, kids have dared each other to eat Red Hots: “Who invented this candy!”
After the jump, new residents, kids, and office workers.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
——
Right
At the Wizards game:
“I want to be an ex-president. But not like Obama… he’s too controversial. I’d rather be one of those presidents who didn’t do anything”
“Like Bush or Clinton?”
“No, like Lyndon B. Johnson.”
——
Something that has probably repeated itself many times this season
At the makeup aisle in Target:
A tween girl is with her dad, presumably gift shopping.
Tween girl: “I’m think about getting her a kabuki brush.”
Dad: “A what??”
Tween girl: “Uh… don’t worry dad, I know you don’t have any idea what that is!”
——
Riiiiiight
At Momiji Restaurant in Chinatown on Saturday evening:
A blonde girl, early twenties, enters with her brunette friend, also early twenties and they begin speaking obnoxiously loud.
Blonde: “I guess I like D.C. I like that, like, everyone is from somewhere else. But, like, what I really miss about L.A. is the culture. There’s, like, so much culture in L.A.. There’s no culture in D.C.. There’s no, like, historic culture.”
Her friend nods in agreement.
——
No beavers? Biebers?
Near the Newseum:
A tourist family is walking near the Newseum, a dad and 9 year old son.
Dad: (trying to keep son entertained) “Look, I think that’s the Canadian embassy!”
Son: (bored) “No, I don’t think so.”
Dad: “Yes, I’m pretty sure.”
Son: “But it doesn’t look Canadian.”
Dad: “No, it really doesn’t.”
——
Oldest trick in the book
At TJ Maxx in Potomac Yards:
Woman on cell phone: “Yeah, she called me last week, but sometimes I pretend like I don’t have good reception.”
——
Said while already having a job in an office
In an office downtown:
Guy: “And I’ve been trying to get a job, and just… I’m too old. Too white. Too male. Too straight…”
——
Please tell us your expert opinion
At Brookland Pint:
Two mid-20s women are talking: “As someone who’s been here for 92 days…”
