Photo by Tony Ibarra

Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.

There are a lot of unwritten rules in our city. This guy deserves a medal.

Overheard of the Week

At the Ballston Metro Station:

Man talking to a group of students by the fare card machines: “Alright, here’s the deal: when on an escalator stand on the right, walk on the left. If you don’t, all locals will hate you. They won’t say anything, but they will hate you.”

After the jump, old school hip hop and R&B, fancy gentlemen, harsh fashion critiques and more.

We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.

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If you want to call it that

At a College Park liquor store:

A mid-twenties guy is in line on his cell phone, holding a box of wine.

Guy, holding up box to his face: “Franzia Moscato.”
(Pause)
Guy: “Moscato.”
(Pause)
Guy: “I think that’s the kind of wine.”

——

Who says the generations don’t get along

On New Year’s Eve at Le Diplomate:

The men’s room at Le Diplomate is covered in classic bicycle racing pictures and old pinup pictures.

Two twenty-something bros come in.

Bro 1: “Man, could you imagine being 8 years old coming here. I’d be, like, constantly ‘mom, I gotta go to the bathroom.'”

Bro 2 heartily agrees.

A dapper older gentleman at the sink chimes in: “Imagine being 75, coming in and seeing your ex-wife up there.”

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Hmm

On the Red Line:

Two women are talking.

Woman 1: “I’m not a picky eater, but I won’t try anything new.”
Woman 2: “See, I’m a picky eater, but I’ll eat anything that sounds good.”

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Harsh

At Saturday brunch:

Two men and a woman are eating together.

Man 1 (to the woman): “Honey, I wasn’t going to say anything but I just can’t help it. Chartreuse is so not your color.”
Man 2: “Oh, thank God you said something. I was dying over here thinking the same thing.”
Woman: “It’s not chartreuse, it’s green.”
Man 2: “Hopeless.”
Man 1 puts his head in his hands.

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Unpresidented?

At an elementary school in Upper Northwest:

Two fifth graders are tinkering over essays. One says to the other: “So my mom told the president I was going to be in the spelling bee.”

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The pony is sad

Outside the Howard Theater:

Two late twenty-something guys are looking at the upcoming acts.

Guy 1: “Isn’t there a ‘Y’ in Ginuwine? Is this a cover act?”
Guy 2: “Who knows what to believe anymore.”

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Not an art fan

At the Hirshhorn during the Ragnar Kjartansson exhibit:

A mom and a little girl are watching S.S. Hangover, a video of a band playing on a boat floating down a canal in Venice.

Little girl: “When I’m done with my Cheerios it’s time to go.”

Later, the girl again: “Why is it so slow?”

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A true injustice

At Bugseys in Old Town late on Friday night:

Sir Mixalot’s “Baby Got Back” comes on.

A guy at the bar: “Why did this song never get a Grammy?”