Photo by Daniel Kelly
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
There’s a lot of craziness going on in the world right now, many of it focused on a few buildings in our fair city. But there’s still hope for the future:
Overheard of the Week
At the Georgia Ave/Petworth Metro:
A small child is riding up an escalator and yells back to his mother: “Mom, may I move to the left side so I can walk up the escalator?”
After the jump, political types, bros, tourists and new hip terms for food.
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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He’s not wrong
At the 38B bus stop at Farragut Square, Sat. night shortly after 9 PM:
A potential passenger seemed to have said something to the bus driver.
Bus driver, “Man, you need a tissue! Snot came outcha nose, man! That’s how people get sick!”
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So cool
In Georgetown, by the Foundry Building:
Young professional woman to her young male colleague: “I described a sandwich I was eating as a ‘dank sanda’ to someone in our office and they were like ‘What?'”
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Interesting theory
In the basement of an Adams Morgan bar at 10:30 on a Saturday night:
Fratty bro: “You know she’s a good dancer because she’s always pointing at things”
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Foreshadowing?
Walking by the Department of Energy’s Forrestal Building, near L’Enfant Plaza:
A tourist father, pointing at the Forrestal building: “That’s the federal prison.”
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Oh, kids
At the Alexandria Library:
A little girl is with her dad. The dad goes into the men’s room while the girl stands at the door.
Girl: “Can I go in there with you? It smells so nice in there! It smells better than the girls’ bathroom. The girls’ one smells like poop.”
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Yep
Tuesday evening on Georgia Avenue:
Two guys are walking in suits toward Homestead restaurant/bar.
Guy 1 is talking about a $13 million deal he is working on to buy a building in the city and how someone he is working with is trying to get the sellers to drop the price by a few million.
Guy 2: “I hate this place.”
Guy 1: “Homestead?”
Guy 2: “No, this neighborhood. It’s gross. I don’t know why anyone would want to live here.”
Passerby: “We don’t want you here either, assholes.”
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We like this train operator
On an Orange line train approaching L’Enfant Friday afternoon:
Train operator: “Customers on the platform, eighteen doors are about to open on this train. Huddling together by just a few of them will only make life more difficult for you.”
Train operator, now whispering: “Spread out…”
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As long as you didn’t talk with any Russian officials
Walking out of Cannon House Office Building:
Staffer 1: “Wait, how did you still get hired with two DUIs?”
Staffer 2: “It’s problematic.”
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Bipartisan romance
On Capitol Hill:
Two young women are talking: “I can’t believe you’re dating him. He’s a f*cking Democrat.”
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Ironically?
Saturday afternoon of Presidents Day Weekend, on the Mall passing the Washington Monument:
Two macho thirty-something guys, presumably tourists, are walking.
Guy 1 slaps guy 2 on the shoulder: “Smell that? Smells like freedom.”
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Academic burn
On Thursday morning at a Starbucks in Georgetown:
Professors are dissing each other
Professor 1 struggles to open yogurt, and then finally gets it open.
Professor 2: “Ohhh, someone got their PhD in packaging.”
