Photo by Richard Bundage
Welcome back to Overheard in D.C., DCist’s weekly column of funny, strange, and poignant things that our readers and staff overhear and send in. We’ve been doing it since 2006, and check out the archives here.
One of the nice things about D.C. is that many people here are well-traveled, interested in the world and have a range of experiences. Like this guy.
Overheard of the Week
In a Lyft Line:
A bro is trying very hard to impress his date and agreeing with everything she said.
Woman: “Have you ever been to France?”
Dude bro: “I mean, I’ve been near it.”
Woman: “What does that mean?”
Dude bro: “I’ve flown over it, and it was cool.”
We can’t have Overheard in D.C. without your submissions! Email your Overheards to overheard(at)dcist[dot]com and don’t forget to include who was talking, to whom, and in what context.
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Point, this guy?
At Wonderland about 1 a.m. on Wednesday:
A few guys are having a spirited debate at the bar.
Guy: “All I’m saying is that there’s nothing in the Bible that says Jesus was actually a good carpenter.”
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Same
Monday, 2 p.m. in a federal agency:
One employee is standing outside a colleague’s cubicle: “My mom doesn’t drink. (pause) She drinks tequila shots when she’s really pissed.”
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Not a great cocktail though
At Walter’s Sports Bar on Georgia Avenue:
A lady comes in and hugs the bartender: “You smell like sweat and booze! My favorite combination.”
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Oh, kids
Waiting in a very long line to use the over-crowded bathroom at Union Market:
A woman has taken her young daughter into the stall with her.
Daughter, from inside the stall, very loudly: “Mommy! Why don’t you wear any underwear?!”
Mother: (doesn’t respond)
Daughter, louder this time: “Mommy!!! Why don’t you wear any underwear?!?!?!”
People in line bow their heads and chuckle to themselves.
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Sign me up
Outside the 9:30 Club after an energetic show by The Flaming Lips:
Man to friend: “This is what malaria feels like.”
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Very romantic, guy
At Sol Mexican Grill on H Street on a Wednesday night:
A man and a woman in their late 30s/early 40s are talking at the bar. Potentially on a date.
Guy: “It’s what serial killers used to do! They’d find you online, arrange a place to meet, and then you’d die there. Now they’ve turned it into a goddamn app!”
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Step 1, don’t shop at Whole Foods
Walking into Whole Foods on P Street on Sunday evening:
Woman: “Ugh, now I have to save for Burning Man, too!”
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Capes seem like a good way to go
At Irish Whiskey:
Woman: “I just can’t deal with the f**king Trump administration, so I decided that I was just going to start wearing capes.”
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Not a great sign
Morning on the X1, approaching Constitution and Penn:
Driver: “Ladies and gentlemen, this is my first time driving this route. Am I going straight here?”
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This is true
Monday afternoon around 12:15 at 21st and I Streets NW:
Three middle-aged male professionals are walking back to work from lunch. They’re in a heated discussion about Trump’s latest tweets: “You didn’t see Barack acting like a goddamn baby!”
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That’s how they get you
At the College Park Home Depot appliance department:
A 30ish year old couple is standing in front of a refrigerator.
Man: “I’m not sure about this one.”
Woman: “But they make the commercial about women engineers that makes me cry.”
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